Atlantis Summons the Keeper
by Aquarian Wolf
Summary: When Claire Hansen, fixer of holes in the fabric of the universe, is summoned to Atlantis, she gets a He..ck of a lot more than she bargained for. Can she, Milo, Kida, and a certain ectoplasmic exmerc, stop an ancient evil from stealing the Heart?
1. Meet Claire

AN: Disney owns _Atlantis: The Lost Empire _and all its characters. Tanya Huff created Claire Hansen, Dean McIssac, Austin, and Diana. You can find them in her books, _Summon the Keeper; The Second Summoning, _and _Long Hot Summoning_.

Thanks to alanluver, the biggest Tanya Huff fanatic on the planet, for her help with ideas and dialogue.

* * *

Atlantis Summons the Keeper 

The giant cruise liner rocked gently on the waves, lulling Claire Hansen into an afternoon nap. The petite brunette rubbed sun tan lotion onto her arms and legs and settled down further into the foldout beach chair. She shut her dark brown eyes under her sunglasses, completely closing out the rest of the world. A strong hand grasped her own and gave it a loving squeeze. As one, Claire and Dean sighed contentedly and began to doze off.

The peace was not to last, however, and Claire awoke with a start as a furry weight jumped onto her stomach. After regaining her breath, she sat up and cried out, "Austin! I'm trying to relax here!"

"Oh, you're breaking my heart," said the cat sarcastically. "Feed me."

"Shh! Do you want someone to hear you?" she hissed. Whipping her head around, she checked to make sure no one was looking at them.

"If it'll get you to feed me, yes." Louder, he yelled, "Help! Help! Animal abuse! She's starving me! Call the A.S.P.C.A.! Hel—Oomph!" Claire clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Fine," she huffed, exasperated. She turned to her boyfriend. "I'll be right back, Dean."

The young man lifted his head, causing sunlight to glint on his glasses. "Is there anything I can be after going to get for you?" he asked in his slight Newfoundland accent.

"No," sighed Claire as she stood up. She carried Austin under one arm back to their cabin, both of them grumbling the entire way. Once they were in the privacy of her and Dean's room, she placed the cantankerous cat rather roughly onto the queen-sized bed. With a scowl that surely meant an imminent lecture, she said sternly, "You're not supposed to be here, you know. I could get in a lot of trouble if the wrong person finds you wandering around on the deck." Austin began licking his tail, a cat's way of flipping someone the finger. "You were supposed to stay at the inn," she continued. "With Diana."

He stopped, looked up at her with his one golden eye, and then sat with his now clean black tail curled around the front of his white paws. "I wasn't about to stay with your little sister and have to listen to her and her girlfriend making out constantly. I'd rather retch up a hairball. And I'm not," he added, "about to leave you alone with _him_ on a vacation."

She huffed again, flaring her nostrils. "I think I deserve a little bit of quality time with Dean after saving the world. Three times. Over the course of only a month."

"Okay," he admitted grudgingly, "maybe you have been working hard, but I don't want to chance you bringing back a _souvenir." _The last word was spat out with as much disgust as he could manage.

"What are you—" Understanding slowly dawned on her face. "Oh. Austin, you know Dean and I don't plan on having any—"

"The point is you don't really plan on anything on a romantic getaway, now do you?"

With a smile, she picked up the cat and hugged him tightly. "You're my only baby."

In return, he nuzzled her cheek and purred. "Damn straight, and baby's hungry."

"Well, we don't have any cat food. I hadn't exactly planned on you stowing away in my luggage." Austin leapt from her arms and back onto the bed as she began searching through the mini fridge. All she found were five bottles of wine coolers. "Nothing."

"You could call room service," Austin suggested hopefully.

"No, I'm not calling room service. But maybe…" Well, she _was_ a Keeper, which endowed her with certain …abilities. Looking around for something to work with, she spotted an unused ashtray on the bedside table. Furrowing her brow in concentration, she reached into the Possibilities and, with a loud _POP, _the ashtray transformed into an easy-open can of tuna fish.

"You know," the feline began, "I don't like Chicken of the Sea…" Claire glared at him. "Beggars can't be choosers," he quickly added. After she poured the can's contents onto a small plate for him, he eagerly, and with a great deal of enthusiasm normally reserved for creatures who haven't had a bite to eat in weeks as opposed to a few hours, dug in.

Claire sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm glad to finally get away from Keeper duties for a while," she said wistfully as she stroked Austin's spine.

"I'm glad to finally be fed," he replied around a mouthful of fish.

"I'm sure that the world will be safe for at least a few days. There's enough Keepers around that I can get a break from a Summons, right?" she asked doubtfully.

"Should I answer that or are you talking to yourself?"

She sighed. Cats, as a rule, don't feel guilt or responsibility; therefore they have no clue what it's like, nor do they care to find out. "Hopefully Diana won't bring about the Apocalypse while I'm away."

"Probably not," said Austin as he licked his lips. "But I think I heard her mention inviting the Horsemen over for a game of cards."

"Her and Famine seem to be on a buddy-buddy basis now, don't they?"

"Some kids, you just can't stop them from hanging out with the wrong crowd. Well," he reflected, "you could, but we all know bludgeoning is out of the question." He stretched, arching his back as only cats can. "Back to sunbathing?"

"_I'm _going back out. _You _are staying in here." After giving him a good, long scratch behind his ears, she got up and walked out of the cabin. She made sure the door was shut good and tight and then began to walk back to her chair.

Then it hit her, knocking her off balance and nearly causing her to tumble overboard. She grabbed onto the ship's rail, swaying slightly. It was a Summons, one of the strongest she had ever felt.

_No, _she thought, hoping it could somehow hear her, _I'm on a pleasure cruise! Go away! Can't you get someone else? Please?_

The feeling lessened and then ebbed away, like a wave leaving a beach.

_Thank you._

Nothing, not even Hell itself, was going to ruin her vacation.

At least she hoped so.

* * *

AN: Don't worry, fellow Atlantis fans, the lost continent will be coming in the next chapter. Claire's career will also be better explainedlater as well. Oh, and I don't own Chicken of the Sea. 


	2. Atlantis is Waiting

AN: Unlike Milo, I'm a terrible translator. Therefore, some Atlantean spoken appears translated to English in these (()). I do apologize for not saying this before, but this could be considered an "alternate universe" type fic because Atlantis is still submerged. I started tinkering with this story before I saw the sequel, and I have almost all of it planned out, and certain plot points call for it still being submerged.

Please don't sue me for the Beatles references.

* * *

The rest of the day had been uneventful, which was perfect for Claire and Dean, who wanted nothing more than rest and relaxation. A little bit of sunbathing, a dip in the pool, a little more sunbathing, another dip in the pool, sans bathing suits. Everything was perfect. 

Too perfect, like the calm before a storm.

A nagging feeling crept into Claire's mind, but she tried to brush it off and instead focused on Dean's soft snoring. But even his rhythmic breathing couldn't help her drift off to sleep. She tried to blame her insomnia on the uncomfortable bed, then she tried to blame it on the bright numbers of the digital clock, and then she tried to blame it on the disgusting seafood she had for dinner, (she still wasn't quite sure what creature of the deep that chewy monstrosity had been). When she ran out of things to blame, she carefully wiggled out of Dean's muscular arms and sat up.

"I can't take it anymore." She climbed out of the bed, ignoring the protests from Austin who had been sleeping on her feet, and quickly got dressed in the dark. The summons kept calling her, willing her outside. With her usual temper and consideration for others, she flung open the cabin door and then slammed it as hard as she could.

Dean bolted up and turned on a lamp and grabbed his glasses off of the bedside table. Looking around frantically, he cried out, "Where's Claire?"

A very annoyed Austin bathed his shoulder. "Oh, she went out for an evening stroll."

"You don't think, out in the middle of the ocean, that she—"

"Bingo."

The calm was gone and the storm had moved in. The immense waves rocked the ship violently and lightning streaked across the night sky. Rain poured by the bucketful, making the deck slick. Claire clung onto the ship's rails, her knuckles white with the effort. Water splashed across her face, making her sputter. "I'm on vacation, damn it!"

Dean ran out of the cabin, his boots barely keeping traction on the slippery floor. Much more gracefully, Austin dashed out behind him. Claire looked back at them. "Go inside!" she yelled over the wind.

Dean shook his head. "I'm not leaving you." He stared down into the tumultuous sea. "Where exactly do they expect you to go?"

"I don't know. And I'm not going!" She stamped a foot to emphasize her point.

The water suddenly began to bubble and froth and something began to ascend to the surface. The top of a little submarine broke the surface of the water. With some clicks and whirrs, the top hatch opened, inviting them inside.

"You've got to be kidding me," breathed Claire.

"It's yellow," said Dean. After a moment's pause of reflection, he added, "The Powers that Be have great taste in music."

"I don't care if George, John, Paul, and Ringo are in it; I'm not—" Before she could finish the remark, the luxury liner leaned towards the waiting vessel, tossing the cat, the Keeper, and the handyman into it. With grunts and groans, the three landed on the floor of the small submersible and looked back up just in time to see the hatch slam shut. They were plunged into total darkness for a moment, and then a dim light came on and a cheery voice with a Liverpool accent said: "'ullo, mates. Welcome aboard the S.S. Possibilities. There is no eating, drinking, smoking, or flash photography."

"You cheated," spat Claire, folding her arms across her chest and pouting.

"No," said the voice, "you weren't doing your job. We had to be a little more… persuasive."

"I'm taking a vacation."

"But evil never takes a vacation, Miss Hansen, which is why you were summoned. So, just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride." The little yellow sub dove into the depths and the storm cleared away, as if swept off the sky by a giant hand.

* * *

It was three hours of silence later when Dean asked the question on everyone's mind. "Where is it taking us?" 

"More importantly," said Austin, "does where we're going have food?"

Claire peered out a side porthole. All she could see were darkness, rocks, and the occasional jellyfish. She was starting to get a little claustrophobic in the cramped space. Not to mention cranky. Looking down she saw twisted shadows and hulking shapes covering the sea bottom, illuminated only slightly by the sub's beam. Peering at them, she realized they were sunken ships.

Hundreds of sunken ships, all from different time periods. Modest little boats, extravagant liners, foreboding pirate ships, and everything in-between, lay tattered and strewn across the ocean floor.

Austin jumped onto her shoulder and followed her gaze. "I don't like this," he said. "Where there's sunken ships, there's a sea monster."

Dean's dark eyes widened in fear behind his lenses. "Sea monsters?"

"Don't be silly," said Claire with a snort. "There's no such thing as—" She and Austin were thrown into Dean as the sub suddenly lurched. Alarms sounded off and the interior was flooded with a crimson light. "What the hell happened?"

Loud creaks and groans answered her as the submarine was thrust forward and pulled towards what she guessed was the face of a giant beast. The mammoth gray lobster held the sub in one claw and examined it with a bright red eye. Each movement it made released an ancient metallic moan.

"It's-it's mechanical!" cried Dean as he stared transfixed at the Leviathan.

"Great, now I know I'm going to be eaten by scrap metal," snapped Austin.

"No one's getting eaten!" shouted Claire. "Does this thing have any weapons?"

The sub's "voice" came back. "Sorry, Keeper, but I make love not war."

Somewhere around the center of the monster's face, a blue light began to spark.

"Claire," whimpered Dean, "that can't be good. I think he's powering up for something. Claire!"

Her eyes were shut tight in concentration and sweat formed on her wrinkled brow. _Please_, she thought, _somewhere where we won't die! You drug us down here, now take—_

The cobalt beam of energy surged from the Leviathan and crackled around the yellow vessel until it burst. The remains fell to the floor to join the cemetery of lost ships.

* * *

"TABTOAP!" 

Milo Thatch groaned softly and opened his eyes. This was the third night in a row she had woken them out of a sound sleep. He lay on his side, too tired to move.

"Well," Kida said groggily as she sat up, "are you going to see what is wrong?"

"It's your turn. I dealt with the last nightmare she had."

"TABTOAP!" came a second shrill cry.

Kida pushed several white bangs out of her blue eyes, the crystal around her neck illuminating her face. "Did you hear that?" asked the Queen slowly, almost as if she was explaining something complex to a small child. "She asked for 'Tabtoap', not 'Matihm'. Therefore, she needs Tabtoap." Case successfully argued she flopped down onto her side, taking a large amount of Milo's part of the blanket with her.

"Can't argue with that logic," muttered Milo as he groped the bedside tabletop for his glasses. The wiry scholar stood up with a yawn and put a robe on over his nightclothes. He winced as his bare feet touched the cold stone floor, and then plodded on, his crystal lighting the way to his bedroom door. Before stepping out, he smiled and said playfully, "I'm off to fight monsters, I could really use some help."

"A king can battle a few monsters on his own," Kida replied teasingly.

Still smiling, Milo briskly walked to his daughter's bedchamber, wondering what boogeyman he would have to scare out this time. He slowly pushed open the door and stepped into Lucille's room.

Princess Lucille, who was named after Milo's mother, was, in most respects, like most other five-year-olds. She played with the other young children in the city, she was energetic and loved to explore, and always asked her father every night to "read just _one _more story?" (which he gave into every time), and she had the occasional nighttime fears. But lately, the nightmares and the monster scares were much more frequent. Her parents hoped it was some sort of phase she was going through, but some of the things she would say that occurred in her dreams were a little disquieting…

Her round face alit with the azure glow of her necklace, Lucille turned to face her father with wide, fearful eyes. The right eye was blue, like the eyes of all Atlanteans, and her left eye was dark brown, like her father's eyes. Long, white hair, messy from sleep, stuck out in multiple directions.

((Monsters!)) she said. ((In my closet!))

Milo smiled. ((Well, your big, strong dad will just have to beat up those monsters, won't he?)) He grabbed a lamp, a long staff with a balloon like container dangling from the top of it that contained fireflies, and walked over to her closet. Tapping the door with the staff, he called out, ((Monsters, if you don't leave my little girl alone, I'm going to have to come in there and…)) He flung the door open. The rest of the threat stopped in his throat as he came face to face with a woman who seemed to be about as surprised as he did.

"Uh, hi?" ventured Claire.


	3. Coming out of the Closet

Claire Hansen stared, half in shock and half in bemusement, at the fairly young—for he could be no more than thirty-five, and even that guess seemed a bit too old—man. He was thin, and could almost be called scrawny, but the presence of definite muscles, small though they were, in his arms and legs prevented her from using that description. Magnified behind the large lenses of his spectacles were big, brown, soulful eyes that exuded innocence and honesty. He appeared to be giving her a similar once-over, his features a mix of extreme curiosity and confusion. Claire felt that rather than demanding to know what she was doing there, he was more likely to ask if she were all right, and by the way, would she like a cup of tea. This seemed to be exactly what he was about to do until Dean shuffled forward behind Claire, emerging from the darkness of the corner of the cramped closet and into the blue light.

Milo Thatch held the lamp staff he was clutching diagonally across the doorway as a pathetic attempt to block their exit. He couldn't have thought that he would actually prevent Dean from walking out. Dean was at least a foot taller than him, not to mention a lot stronger and much more muscular. Both bespectacled men stared each other down.

A small figure, a young girl no more than five, stepped up behind the staff wielder and gave his robe two small, sharp tugs. "Tabtoap?" she whispered. She hid behind her father's legs and peeked out at the strangers in her closet.

Without looking away from the others, he spoke very quickly and quietly to her in a language Claire didn't recognize. The little girl shot them one last glance before dashing out of the room.

"Claire," Dean hissed into her ear. "I don't think he's going to be able to understand us!"

"I can understand you perfectly," the other man snarled through clenched teeth. His voice was just as youthful as he looked. "What are you doing in my daughter's room?"

Claire breathed a sigh of relief. "For a moment there I thought you didn't speak any English. Look, this is a huge misunderstanding. I know you're not going to believe me, but we didn't sneak in here. We were being attacked by a giant lobster and—" She didn't even see the blur that was Queen Kidagakash run into the room and place the knife against her throat. By the time Dean lifted his arm to grab her wrist, the white-haired warrior had punched him in the stomach with her free hand, knocking the wind out of him. Dean had played hockey since he could walk, and he could not recall in all those years a man ever hitting him that hard in any of the games. He coughed and sputtered and fell to his knees.

"Kida! Maybe we oughta hear them out," said Milo. Kida shot a glare at him and spoke in the language Claire guessed was her native tongue. He replied fervently, ending his statement with an imploring "Please?" The blade was lowered from Claire's throat and the Keeper could finally breathe again.

Kida stared at her icily. "I have slain many who have merely trespassed into my city. If there were any intentions to harm my child, I will personally see to it that your blood flows down the palace steps and into the lava."

Dean slowly stood up, still reeling from the blow. "No harm was ever meant, ma'am," he said with a cough.

"Honey," said Milo as he put the lamp back into its proper post, "why don't you take them to the...the," he faltered for a second, trying to think of a good place to meet that wouldn't be surrounded by palace guards and could guarantee a little bit of privacy, "library, and I'll meet you there after I tuck Lucille in." He nodded to the little girl, who was standing shyly in the doorway.

"But I want to hear what you are going to talk about!" Lucille cried out, her shyness forgotten in the excitement of these strange visitors. Very nervously and quickly, she ran behind her father and peeked out around him at the two people stepping out of the closet. "Are they from your world? What country are they from? The man has a funny accent."

Dean might have been offended if he didn't find inquisitive children to be so incredibly cute. With a small groan, he stooped down on one knee. He didn't quite get the desired effect that he wanted because there wasn't any way he could have been able to squat down low enough to be eye level with her. With a gentle smile that showcased perfectly white teeth, he said, "I grew up in a place called Newfoundland."

Lucille's eyes widened again. Claire thought that if she were not careful they would pop out of her head. The little girl stepped out from behind Milo and approached Dean. Dean McIssac, like Milo Thatch, was one of those people who it is nearly impossible to not instantly like after just exchanging a few words with him. He was one of those guys who you could trust to hold your purse while you bent down to tie your shoe.

The five-year-old's mouth formed a little "O" of amazement. "Is there an Oldfoundland?" she asked. "Or a Lostanfoundland? Or a—"

"That's enough for tonight," said Milo with a chuckle as he picked her up. "You have school tomorrow and we don't need you falling asleep during lessons again."

"But…"

"No buts, it's past your bedtime."

"Aw, but…What's that?" She pointed to the closet as Austin walked out.

Milo smiled. "What an adorable kitty."

Austin cocked an eyebrow but didn't say anything. "Adorable" was not a word that _anybody_ had _ever _used to describe him, even when he was a kitten. Surely this man needed a new optometrist.

"Is that everyone?" asked Kida, peering into the cubbyhole.

"Yeah," said Claire, "that's everyone." She clapped her hands together. "Right, well, let's go to this library and I will explain everything." She watched as Kida slid the knife into the pocket of her robe and then she, with Dean and Austin behind her, followed the other woman out of the bedroom.

"Weird," whispered Lucille.

"Very," said Milo as he set her on the bed. She snuggled under the blue sheet and quilt with designs of giant, flying stone fish on them. He lovingly tucked the blankets around her. "Comfy skunky?"

She giggled. "Skunky" had been his nickname for her as long as she could remember. It came from an odd thin streak of dark blond hair that started at the tips of the bangs in the middle of her forehead and extended to the end of her long locks. Lucille prided herself in not only being very unique in Atlantis, but also being a daddy's girl. "Yes Tabtoap." After a moment of silence, she said, "I had another dream. It had the woman in it again. I saw her face this time, usually I don't."

"Yeah?" asked Milo nonchalantly. "What did she look like?"

"She wasn't from here. I think she came from where you came from." The girl furrowed her brow in concentration, trying to remember. "There was a mark on her face." She touched her own right cheek. "I think she's trying to warn me about something." Her features turned to a look of concern as she watched her father pale. "Tabtoap?"

Milo stared into space for a moment, her mind racing. Parts of his past had not been fully explained to his daughter. He often told himself that it was because he thought she was too young to fully understand what had happened, but he knew, deep down, that he didn't want her to know about people like Rourke and Helga and what they had tried to do. After shaking his head as if to shoo away the memories, he said, "I was thinking about…something." He tried to smile reassuringly and kissed her forehead. "Good night, skunky."

"Good night."

"Don't let the _kilatabish _bite." He stood in the doorway for a moment and watched her until she closed her eyes and her breathing became rhythmic and deep. Closing the door behind him, he thought, _Helga? But how? And how does Lucille know…? These strangers have something to do with all this I know it. _He lingered for just a few seconds longer to compose his thoughts, and then ran to the library.

* * *

A/N: Lucille is a character I created. Kilatabish is just a word I made up that is the Atlantean equivalent to bedbugs. I send out a big 'thank you!' to alanluver and Julie for their kind reviews! Thanks guys! 


	4. Q&A

Milo pushed one of the two massive doors open and slipped inside. The palace's library was huge. From either side of the doors and along all of the walls were towering bookshelves crammed with volumes and scrolls. Some were fairly recent and had been written by Milo himself, while others were older than Kida. He vowed one day to read every single tome. Right now, he was almost a third of the way through.

To the right of the doors was a podium that had a large open book on it with a magnifying glass and a quill resting on it pages. In a neat pile on the floor at the base of the stand were more books and stacks of notes. In the center of the room, facing each other, were two couches covered in cushions and throw blankets. Claire and Austin sat on one, and Kida was on the other. The two women were engrossed in a conversation and Dean was standing in front of one of the bookshelves, peering closely at the volumes.

Kida turned as Milo entered. She was wearing a large grin, clearly excited. "I was just talking to Claire about…What are they called again?" she asked as she gestured to Claire's pants.

"Jeans," said Claire.

Kida nodded. "Jeans. They are very sturdy and would be perfect for some of the hunts. The crystals heal almost any scratch, but these pants could prevent most of them from even happening."

Milo sat down next to his wife and held out his hand to Claire. "I'm Milo Thatch," he said as he shook her hand. Kida gave him a nudge with her elbow that was more playful than reprimanding. With an exaggerated sigh, he corrected himself. "King Milo. I always kinda forget."

His quirky lopsided grin was contagious and Claire couldn't help smiling back. "I'm Claire Hansen." She looked behind her. "That's Dean McIssac." To the buff young man she said, "Dean, what are you doing?"

He turned. "Uh, your shelves are very dusty," he said shyly. "They could use a good dustin'." He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a rag and began wiping off the offensive cobwebs.

"That-that's not really necessary," said Milo.

Claire laid her head in one hand and sighed. "Dean, for once in your life stop cleaning."

He looked like a big, kicked puppy. "But…" he started. He hated to leave a mess. "I'll be after getting it later." He sat down on the couch next to Claire.

Claire decided to continue the introductions. "This," she said, petting the one-eyed, old, black and white cat on her lap, "is Austin."

"Yo," said Austin, not even lifting his head. Milo stared at him in shock.

"He is a sort of pet?" asked Kida, not in the least bit perturbed by the speaking animal or Milo's babbling.

"I hate that word," groaned Austin. "I am not a pet. I am a confidant."

"Jiminy Christmas he talks!" Milo finally managed to yell.

This time Austin did look up at him. "No shit, Sherlock."

"Austin!" snapped Claire.

Milo gaped for several seconds, and then scowled and said, "Bad, bad kitty! We don't use that kind of language!"

If cats could look smug, Austin managed it with flying colors. Thousands of years ago, kings revered cats. They were thought to be gifts from the gods. This worshipping caused felines to have very little to no respect for royalty, which they soon considered to be underneath them. Although this worshipping and idolizing stopped centuries ago, the egotistical outlook on life has been genetically engrained in all cats. Austin was no exception. "Bite me."

"I'm so sorry Your Highness," Claire stammered.

"Please," said Milo, "don't do the 'Your Highness' stuff. And I'm just glad Fluffy never spoke."

Austin sniggered. "God I'm glad you didn't name me."

While Milo was still staring confusedly at the cat, Kida asked, "How did you get here? And why are you here?"

"I hate explaining this," Claire sighed. She cleared her throat. "First off, I am a Keeper."

"Of what?" asked Kida.

"No, no, no. With a capital K. Keeper. I am part of an elite—"

Austin sniggered.

"Shut up. I am part of an elite group who fights evil."

"So you're a warrior?" Kida looked impressed.

Claire had never thought of herself as a warrior. But now that she considered it…She shook her head. "Not quite, Queen Kidaka…Kidahga…Kidagashanga…Ki…"

"Call me Kida."

"Thank you. I get these summons, these urges to go to certain places. Once there, I find where something bad has happened or is about to happen."

Milo and Kida stared at her in bewildered silence. Claire could swear she heard crickets chirping.

"You see," she said, knowing there was absolutely nothing to look at, "when something really terrible happens, sometimes a hole in the fabric of the universe opens. Evil leaks outs."

"Let me get this straight," began Kida. "The universe is made of cloth?"

Austin chuckled. "Don't be so literal, Zena. It's purely metaphysical."

"Metaphorical, you mean," corrected Milo.

"Both," said Claire. "Imagine this: Life, the universe, and everything…"

"You totally stole that," said Austin.

"I don't care!" snapped Claire. "The whole universe is like one big tapestry of every single little happening, every little moment, every second, every life that comes into being, is in this tapestry as a thread." She grinned inwardly; she rather liked this explanation. "When bad happens, or when bad is about to happen, tears will form and evil leaks out. When these holes form, we call them accident sites. We are summoned to these sites and then we fix them, repair the hole, and we get summoned to someplace else. Do you get it?"

Milo thought about it and then nodded slowly. He was thinking about how Kida had been summoned into the Heart of Atlantis. He didn't feel comfortable mentioning that yet. "I think I do. So what summons you?"

Claire shrugged. "We call it the Possibilities. It's like—Well, I really despise using this term, but it's the best I can come up with—magic. Good magic. It tells us generally where to go, and we can use it to close the sites and for other things." Claire wasn't going to say how often she abused that privilege. "Emergencies only" wasn't a phrase that had much meaning to her. "I used it to escape that robotic lobster and it dumped us into your daughter's closet. But, the thing about it is that it doesn't tell us exactly what we have to do once we get to the accident site. All I know is I was summoned here, but I don't know where the hole is or if anything has been affected by it."

"So," said Milo slowly, "you're a Keeper?" He pointed to Claire.

"Yes."

"And you?" he asked Dean.

"Along for the ride, sir. Usually she doesn't let me go, but this time we didn't have much of a choice." He grinned. "Which means I get to help."

"No it doesn't," said Claire crossly. "You just do what you would normally do. Set back, relax, and bring me coffee occasionally."

"I saved the world once," said Dean with a smirk. "And do I get any thanks for it?"

Claire grinned playfully. "Of course you do." She turned to the royal couple. "Any more questions?"

Milo glanced at Austin. "What about—"

"I'm a cat," Austin said matter-of-factly.

"Right. Should of known that."

"Are all Keepers equally powerful?" asked Kida. "Are there," she frowned thoughtfully, trying to form the right words, "different types?"

Claire grimaced. This was always the worst part. She elbowed Dean, who was suppressing chuckles. "Okay, stay with me folks. There are two levels. The Keepers and the Cousins. The Cousins are the less powerful. Every generation is more powerful than the last."

Kida thought about this. "If you are a Keeper and each generation is stronger…"

_Here it comes, _thought Claire.

"Then your mother and father are Cousins?"

"Yes."

Milo looked disgusted. "Isn't that illegal in most states?"

Dean and Austin were laughing.

"No, I mean yes! Okay, my parents are not related. They are called Cousins because they sort of do what I do, but they are less powerful. Cousins don't roam like Keepers do, they tend to stay in one place and handle little holes in the general area. Now, Keepers are traditionally, for some reason I have yet to fathom, called Aunts and Uncles."

"You are your parents' Aunt?" asked Milo. "And your parents are your Cousins?" He grinned.

"Yes…Wait, you're not being serious! Quit making fun of me!"

"Okay, okay," said Milo, holding up his hands. "I'm sorry. So, Cousins are less powerful and Keepers are more powerful. You are a Keeper. You fix holes in the fabric of the universe. You are summoned to these holes. Am I right?"

"Right."

"Can we call you Aunt Claire?" Milo asked with his mischievous grin.

"No."

"Okay. Uh, do you have any questions for us?"

"Yeah. Where am I?"

"Atlantis."

Claire's jaw dropped. "You're pulling my leg!"

Kida shook her head. "We are not even touching your leg."

"It's an expression," Milo explained. "She thinks we're joking."

"Ah," said the queen. "No, you are really in Atlantis." She grinned. "I see Mr. Whitmore kept his word."

When Claire arched an eyebrow, Milo explained, "I'm not from here."

Claire looked from the tan-skinned, white-haired warrior to the pale, blond scholar. "I gathered."

"I came here on an expedition to find the lost city. That is, a huge crew and me came here on the expedition. The whole thing was financed and constructed by a billionaire named Preston Whitmore. He had been a close friend of my grandfather's." Milo got a wistful look in his eyes. "My grandpa taught me all about Atlantis and he said that there was a book called _The Shepard's Journal _that told all about the lost continent, even how to get there."

"Is it a lost city or a lost continent?" asked Austin. "Make up your mind."

Milo thought it would be wise to just ignore him. "Grandpa was pretty much shunned by the scientific community because he was obsessed with finding Atlantis." He looked hurt as he remembered this. "Whitmore made a bet with him that if grandpa could find the journal, then he would finance the expedition. Lo and behold, grandpa finds the journal off the coast of Iceland unbeknownst to me, I get called to Whitmore's several years later, and the next thing I know, I'm on a submarine leading a group of… people to the greatest archeological find in history."

Claire thought about this. "Why did they need you?" she asked. Quickly, she added, "No offense! I'm just curious. If they had a map, why were you sent with them?"

Milo smiled. "I know what you mean. The whole _Journal_ was written in Atlantean, a dead language. I'm a linguist, so I've been studying dead languages for years. Plus, I was more obsessed than my grandfather was. I had been working in a museum's boiler room, plotting and planning proposal after proposal to ask for the funds to search for the missing book. It was after yet another rejection that I was called on by Mr. Whitmore and told about his promise and how his and grandpa's crew found the _Journal._"

"What happened to the rest of the crew that went with you?" asked Dean.

Thoughtfully and sadly, Milo answered. "There were many who didn't make it past the Leviathan, the creature guarding the entrance that you mentioned earlier, Claire. Among those who survived were Commander Rourke and Lieutenant Helga Sinclair; the cook, who we just called Cookie; the mechanic, Audrey Ramirez, the ship's physician, Dr. Sweet; Gaetan Moliere, who was in charge of geology and excavation, who we called Mole; Vinny Santorini, who handled explosives; and Mrs. Packard, the communications officer.

"Long story short, we got to the city and were amazed to discover that it was a living, thriving society. I had just expected some broken pottery." He smiled.

"I take it they went back home?" asked Claire.

"Most of them did," said Milo. "Helga and Rourke weren't so lucky. Mr. Whitmore made the others promise not to tell anyone about Atlantis, and it seems as if they've all kept the secret."

"Why wouldn't you want anyone to find out about Atlantis?" asked Dean. "I would imagine that you would want it to become part of the rest of the world, right?"

Milo and Kida were both silent for a moment and looked at each other worriedly.

"That is not exactly the case," said Kida slowly. "I would love more than anything for Atlantis to be as it once was, and to share with other nations, and to see the sun and the moon again..."

Claire smiled. "I bet it's pretty tough being stuck…Hold on a minute! 'See the sun and moon _again'_? Plato talked about Atlantis back in, what, four hundred…"

"Three hundred and sixty," Milo corrected.

"Three hundred and sixty B.C. And the sinking was before that. You're what, thirty?"

Kida pondered it for a second. "I am somewhere around nine thousand." She grinned.

"Wow," said Austin, "you're really well preserved." He glanced up at Milo and then at Dean. "What is it with four-eyed men and older women?"

Dean who, at twenty-one, was nearly eight years younger than Claire, blushed in embarrassment. Milo had a mortified look on his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Austin sarcastically. "I meant, what is it with overly sensitive, four-eyed men and older women?"

Claire just rolled her eyes, all too used to the cat's comments, and decided to continue the conversation. "Why do you age so slowly?"

"Children seem to age normally, it's the adults who slow down at a certain point," said Milo. "At least that's how I think it works from what I've seen. I'm still trying to figure it out. Why we age slowly…" He sighed worriedly and turned to Kida.

Kida looked down thoughtfully and bit her lower lip. After a silent debate she decided to tell them. "The life force of Atlantis is what keeps us young. It is also what nearly brought about our destruction. It is called the Heart of Atlantis, a giant crystal that sustains us. In return, we keep it protected as well."

"How?" asked Claire.

"When my people are threatened and there is nothing else to turn to, it calls upon a host of royal blood to merge with it. My father tried to use its power to conquer other nations. It backfired horribly and brought about the cataclysm that sank the empire. But my mother was called to it, protecting the city. Rather than it being destroyed, it was submerged. However, my mother was lost to us forever. If one stays merged with the crystal for too long, they become a part of it and cannot return. I was summoned to the Heart," she smiled inwardly at being able to make the comparison to Claire, "when Rourke and Helga tried to steal it."

"Are those necklaces just a small part of it?" Claire pointed to Kida's crystal.

Kida nodded. "These heal us and generally run most of the appliances, like the vehicles that we use."

"Amazing," whispered Claire.

"Yeah," yawned Austin, unimpressed. "Fascinating. If it's all the same to you, I'd like to get some sleep."

Milo blinked, lost in his own thoughts and looked up. "We've got a guestroom you can use for as long as you need, Miss Hansen."

"Call me Claire, and I'd really appreciate the room. I'm exhausted."

Milo nodded and stood up. "Great, just follow me then." He was somewhat distracted as they filed out of the library. Kida walked to his side and grasped his hand. The two exchanged concerned looks but said nothing.

Out of genuine curiosity, and to break an uncomfortable silence, Claire asked, "How long have you been here Milo?"

"Since nineteen…fourteen," he answered. "By the way, what year is it? I keep losing track."

"Two thousand, five."

He stopped and his jaw dropped. "Two thousand and five!"

"Yeah."

This took several more seconds to sink in. "Jiminy Christmas!

Austin sniggered.

"I'm a hundred and twenty-three years old!"

Kida put a hand on his shoulder and clicked her tongue. "Looking good."

* * *

After showing Claire, Dean, and Austin to their room, Milo and Kida headed back to their own bed. Milo was still frowning thoughtfully. He had been told so much in such a short time and was still trying to digest it all.

Milo shut their bedroom door and leaned against it and sighed. "I think Lucille's dreams and the Keeper are connected," he finally said.

"Why do you say that?" asked Kida as she pulled back the blankets.

Milo took off his robe, hung it up, and then sat on the edge of the bed. "Maybe not Claire, but this hole she talked about. Remember she said they occur where evil has happened? Maybe Rourke and Helga's attempted theft of the Crystal brought this about."

"But that was so long ago. Wouldn't this tear have happened by now?"

"Maybe it takes a long time." He stared down at his feet. Odd, he didn't look or feel any different, but one hundred and twenty-three years… He truly was part of Atlantis. Dragging himself out of his thoughts, he said, "Lucille told me that Helga was in her dream tonight. She said Helga's trying to warn her about something. How did she know about Helga? Do you think this evil could," his throat tightened and dread filled him with the thought. "Could this evil do anything to Lucille? What if we can't protect her? What if the Heart can't protect her?"

"I think the best thing we can do is sleep and ask Claire about this in the morning," Kida replied tiredly. She slid under the blankets.

"What if…" Milo said softly. "What if she's lying?"

"I do not think she would. I am not going to tell you not to worry. Trust me, I am afraid too, but we should get more answers first." She watched as Milo refused to budge. "I trust them, Milo. I would not sleep if I did not. I truly believe they want to help us. Please, get some rest. If something bad is going to happen, we cannot have a groggy king trying to protect the city." She smiled reassuringly and he smiled back weakly and nodded.

He lay down next to her. "It's not Claire and Dean I don't trust," he said too quietly for her to hear. _It's Helga._

* * *

A/N: The line "life, the universe, and everything" is from Douglas Adams's _The_ _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_. And I don't own Zena. 


	5. A Ghostly Foe

Claire awoke several hours later. There was a low buzzing in her head, an unmistakable sound that meant one thing: the accident site was nearby. She sat up in bed and looked around at her surroundings groggily. There was a large, beautifully carved stone dresser against the wall across from the bed, a curtain covered window in the right wall, and the door was to the left of the queen-sized bed. It could almost be considered sparse for a guest bedroom in a home of royalty, but Claire only cared about having two things: a bed and a television set. One out of two wasn't bad.

The Keeper looked to her left. Dean was gone, and, when she looked at the foot of the bed, so was Austin. An appetizing aroma wafted into the room, making her stomach growl. She slid out from underneath the blue quilts. Before stepping out of the room, she ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to tidy it as much as possible. Maybe later, she could ask Kida if she could borrow a comb. She would probably need a couple of changes of clothes, too. True, there had been assignments where she'd been stuck in the same skirt and top for nearly a week, in disgusting conditions, without much food or water, but she really tried to avoid that as much as possible. She had her pride, (and vanity), after all. It wasn't as if she could just poof some clothes there. The possibilities did not like to be abused in such a way, and she had the distinct feeling that even changing the ashtray into a can of cat food had ticked it off. She had heard of many cautionary tales of Keepers and Cousins who had used the possibilities for vain or selfish purposes. They often ended with the Keeper/Cousin being royally screwed when they really needed firepower and they weren't allowed any. Asking the Queen of Atlantis for some garb was not something she was too keen on, but if worse came to worse, she would swallow her pride.

She slid on her shoes and walked out. The wonderful smells lead her to a dining room. A long, low table was in the center. Sitting on their knees on thick cushions were Milo, Kida, and Lucille. Kida and Milo stood up as Claire walked in. "Good morning, miss Hansen," said the queen with a welcoming grin.

Claire suddenly realized that she had not noticed the tattoos on Kida's face before. She had two small, blue slash-like marks and a tiny dot under her right eye and a blue line along her forehead that was almost completely hidden by her bangs. Milo had a blue star on his right shoulder that had been covered by his robe the previous night. That shocked her. Mr. Thatch, she could tell, was no wimp, but she had a hard time picturing the scholar calmly getting a tattoo. The images that came to her mind played out like this: Milo walks into the parlor with Kida, runs back out, gets dragged back in, is heavily sedated, and then tied to the chair. Claire tried not to laugh as the whole situation played out in her mind's eye.

"Good, morning Queen Kida, King Milo." She bowed awkwardly, unsure how to act around royalty.

Milo smiled. "Aw, don't worry about doing stuff like that. And I told you, just call me Milo." He gestured to a pillow. "Have a seat. Breakfast is being served."

She sat down and looked around. "Where are Dean and Austin?"

"Kitchen," answered Milo. "We told Dean we had a cook, but he insisted on making breakfast." He shrugged. "Austin's in there, too."

"Probably begging for food," muttered Claire.

"Cats do not beg," called Austin's voice as he stepped into the dining room ahead of Dean. "We tell people what we want and we get it. Begging is for dogs." He looked up at Dean, who was carrying a tray with bowls and utensils on it. "Where's my breakfast?"

"I'll be after gettin' it in a moment," the young man said as he put the tray on the table. To the royal couple he said, "It was a bit tough. I've never worked with…uh, these ingredients before. But I always enjoy a challenge."

"I take it you and the cook will be swapping recipes," Claire joked as she picked up one of the bizarre utensils and stared at it.

"Already have," said Dean.

"My boyfriend, Betty Crocker," Claire mused. "Uh, how do you…?"

"Like this," said Lucille, eager to show anyone how to do something. Claire watched and tried to mimic the little girl, but still found it difficult to scoop up her fluffy, purple, scrambled eggs. (Eggs of what exactly, she didn't know, and felt it best not to ask.)

"Do you have any idea where this accident sight of yours is?" asked Milo after they had eaten for several minutes and Dean had taken a seat with them.

Claire shook her head. "I've got this annoying buzzing in my brain. It's nearby, that's for sure. I can probably find it soon if I can look around the city."

"I can give you a tour," said Kida, "after breakfast, if you wish."

"Thank you, that'd be great," said Claire. She would have preferred going alone. Kida and Milo may have been royalty, but they were still bystanders, and bystanders were not supposed to get involved. According to the unofficial Keeper rules/guidelines, she had told them too much already. On the other hand, she realized, they had probably broken some Atlantean rules as well last night by telling her about the Heart of Atlantis. She also realized that she would more than likely get lost in the city without a guide.

They were interrupted as a man ran into the dining room. He wore a bizarre, large, ornate mask, which he quickly yanked off. His tattoo was a band that went across his eyes and his short, white hair was pulled back into a ponytail. A pack of arrows and a bow was slung across his back. Panting, he flung himself down onto the stone floor. He breathed something in Atlantean and quickly got up. Still trying to regain his breath, he spoke nervously in Atlantean, causing Kida and Milo to look worried. Lucille, however, seemed thrilled. When the man stopped speaking, Kida nodded, as if answering a question, and then started talking to him.

After Kida finished, the man gave them a small bow and hurried off. Lucille looked at her father excitedly. "Tabtoap, are you going to check it out?" she asked eagerly. "Can I come?"

"No, I've got meetings this morning. Your matihm will be investigating this."

"Can I go with her?" the girl asked hopefully.

Milo ruffled her hair. "Sorry, skunky, you're going to school." He looked at Claire. "I think we've found the accident site. A hunting party went into a cave in the volcano outside of the city. Apparently they heard voices coming from within it, and there were strange symbols in the dirt that they didn't recognize. Does it sound familiar?"

"Yeah," said Claire, rubbing her temples. "I should have known it would try something."

"What?"

She looked up at the earnest young, or young looking, man. If she told him… No, that was a bad idea. She didn't think it could influence him in any way, but it was better to be safe than sorry. "Just a typical bad leakage, no biggie." She turned to Kida. "Can you take me there?"

"Of course." She frowned thoughtfully. "But how 'bad' is this 'bad leakage'? Do we need any supplies?"

Claire shook her head. "I've got everything right here," she waggled her fingers. "I just need to get there."

"Do I-" Dean began.

"No."

He frowned. "Then what do I do?"

Austin cocked the eyebrow over his one eye. "You feed the cat, of course."

* * *

"You should open your eyes, Claire," Kida called over the wind rushing past them. "We've got a beautiful view of the city from up here." 

Claire shook her head, her eyes still closed tightly. "I hate heights!"

"You fight evil on a regular basis and heights scare you?" Kida asked. It wasn't a mean spirited statement, but Claire could hear the mischievousness in it. The queen sighed. "If it bothers you that much then I will not insect you-"

"Bug," Claire quickly corrected.

"Bug you anymore about it. But it really is a marvelous sight." She sighed wistfully and smiled as she felt the wind whipping through her long hair. She was piloting the large, flying stone stingray. Claire was resting her head on her arms, which were folded on what she deemed the dashboard. "After Atlantis was nearly destroyed ninety years ago, Milo and I have overseen a lot of reconstruction and restoration. I'm afraid the only thing we have yet to restore is the bridge, but it was something that was deemed unimportant compared to everything else since we have the flying vehicles."

Curiosity getting the better of her, Claire peeked out from her arms. The city really was magnificent. Stone giants stood like waiting warriors, towers rose taller than anything she had seen back home, and strange creatures flew through the air. An animal, a feathered winged lizard, nearly clipped her head and she ducked down with a shriek. Kida laughed and Claire couldn't help chuckling too.

Kida clapped her on the back. "That's the spirit, Keeper." With a slight touch of the control panel, they flew downwards, nearly skimming the lava. Lava whales jumped in and out like frolicking dolphins, and one had the nerve to lick Claire on the cheek before diving back under. "Are they not adorable?"

Claire wiped drool off her cheek. "Real cute."

With a laugh, Kida piloted the ray back up, and headed for the volcano.

* * *

They parked just outside of a cave and climbed out. Claire could feel herself being pulled into the cavern. "It's in here," she said, leading the way. 

Kida walked alongside her. "This is where Rourke tried to escape with me, I mean the Crystal. Some of the remains of his vehicles and weapons are still here, as you can see." She gestured to the wreckage of the gyro-evac, a giant balloon. "Milo's convinced we can use some of it and recycle it. Personally, I would rather burn it and be rid of it."

The energy that hit Claire nearly knocked her off her feet. "There's something in here," she said when Kida looked at her worriedly.

"The hole?"

"No, something else." Her eyes darted about. "Show yourself," she called. There was a stubborn silence. "We do it the easy way or the hard way."

"_Sounds fun," _a voice replied faintly. The women could hear the smirk in it. _"But I seriously doubt you can make me do anything." _

"Right, let's do this the hard way." Claire held her hands out and traced symbols in the air. They appeared and began to glow: the right red and the left green. In a loud, clear voice she said, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Appear because I say you must."

"Wow, that was weak," said the voice as a form began to materialize. It was a woman, or more specifically, a ghost woman. She wore a white tank top and green pants, and boots. A long blond braid tumbled down her back. She had a beauty mark on her right cheek. "Great, I'm stuck here for an eternity and now there's a witch," she muttered sarcastically. "Wonderful. Now if that hole to Hell would just spew forth all the minions of the underworld my afterlife would be perfect."

"You!" spat Kida with a snarl. "How are you still here!"

The spirit snorted. "In case you haven't noticed, princess, I'm a ghost! I'm stuck haunting this pile of trash." She tried to kick the gyro-evac but her boot went right through it. "All because of that back stabbing—"

"I'm sorry to interrupt your ranting," said Claire. "But who are you?"

The dead woman cocked an eyebrow. "Helga Sinclair."

* * *

A/N: The chant comes from the book _Summon the Keeper, _page 89. 


	6. A Helluva Find

"Helga?" asked Claire. "As in-"

"The woman who almost destroyed my people!" spat Kida.

"I was just following orders!" Helga cried. "You think I didn't have second thoughts about that! Do you honestly think I didn't have any guilt whatsoever! 'There were not supposed to be people here!' I told him. 'This changes everything', I said! And do you know what he said? 'This changes nothing!'" There were ectoplasmic tears in her eyes now, threatening to pour down her transparent cheeks. "But at least," she spoke softly, "at least if I was going to die, I made a point to take him out with me." She smirked.

"If you truly felt what you were doing was wrong you would have stayed behind with the others." There was venom in Kida's voice. "Your only regret is that you did not get away with your prize!"

"I made a mistake, okay! I'll admit it! I was greedy! I was selfish! I wasn't the best person in the world! And I…" The ghost stared down at her boots. "I… I'm sorry." She couldn't make herself look up at the queen. For the first time in Helga's life (or afterlife, for that matter), she felt ashamed.

Kida stared at her. The burning hatred she had felt began to dissipate. She bit her lower lip and then sighed. Then, she walked over to the spirit and put her hands on Helga's shoulders. They fell through, so she just had to hold her arms up in a way that looked as if her palms were resting on Helga's shoulders. "It takes a true warrior to admit when they are wrong. And it takes a great person to apologize afterwards."

Helga was speechless as she looked up at the queen. "Thanks," was all she managed to mutter.

Claire cleared her throat. "I hate to interrupt, but you mentioned a hole to Hell?" To a bystander, her calm, sensible tone might have sounded ludicrous. Years of being a Keeper had trained Claire to ask even the most bizarre questions with the air that she was commenting about the weather.

Helga regained her strong, if somewhat smug, stance. "I was just taking a wild guess, but when a hissing voice offering me temptations for the mere price of my soul comes from a little crevice that reeks of brimstone, there aren't too many options to choose from. It's coming from over there," she pointed to a tiny crack in the rock wall of the cave. All three women wandered over to the slit. It was only a few inches wide.

Claire pushed her face against it, peering into the darkness with her right eye. It was pitch black, save for a small circle that was glowing bright red on what she assumed was the dirt floor.

HI KEEPER! DID YOU MISS US?

Oh, yeah, it was Hell all right. Hell did not speak with a singular voice, but with the voices of hundreds of thousands, most of which bickered amongst themselves.

"No."

AW, WE MISSED YOU, Hell gushed.

NO WE DIDN'T.

WE WERE BEING SARCASTIC.

YOU SOUNDED SINCERE.

WOULD WE LIE?

There was a short pause.

OF COURSE WE WOULD. WE LIE ALL THE TIME.

OH. RIGHT. There was a hiss, an exhale of sulfur that sounded like a thoughtful snake. HELLO MISS SINCLAIR.

"Stuff it," snapped the ghost.

I LIKE HER.

SHE'S FEISTY.

Claire strained her eye. The circle hardly provided any light, but she could have sworn…

OOH! WE LIKE SWEARING!

"Stay out of my head." She continued to peer at the blackness. Was something traced in the dirt?

"So, what is it, exactly?" asked Kida.

"I'll explain later." Claire pulled her cheek off of the wall. After wiping off dirt and ash, she asked, "Does…it talk to you a lot, Helga?"

The blonde snorted. "It never shuts up."

NOW YOU'VE HURT OUR FEELINGS, Hell pouted. Then hopefully, it said, A LITTLE KISS MIGHT MAKE US FEEL BETTER.

"Is it always this annoying?" asked Kida.

Hell mimicked her in a whiny, nasal voice.

"Yes," said Claire. "Unfortunately, I can't get to the accident site. If only there was some way to make the crack bigger…"

Hell giggled. BIG CRACK…TEE HEE HEE.

"Oh do shut up," said Claire. She turned to Kida. "Is there anything back at the palace we could use?"

The queen thought this over. "I'm not entirely sure. There might be some small explosives, but I doubt they could do enough damage."

"But is it a good idea?" the Keeper muttered to herself. Just blowing up the side of the cave didn't feel right. She needed more time to think about it. "If it's all right with you, I'd like to go back. I could use a drink… Nonalcoholic," she added before Hell could make some smart comment. "I am getting such a headache."

HAW-HAW!

Hell could do a perfect impression of Nelson.

As the three women headed back towards the wreckage, Helga glided up next to Claire. For the spirit, floating seemed to be awkward. Claire couldn't help but feel a bit of pity for her.

"So," began Helga, as if she was still trying to form the sentence in her mind, "what are you exactly?"

"I'm Claire Hansen, a Keeper." She watched Helga arch an eyebrow as if to say, "And that is…?" "I thought most ghosts automatically knew. All the ones I've met knew right away what I am."

Helga shook her head. "All I knew was that you weren't exactly…normal."

"Gee thanks. What a Keeper does is seal up holes like this and…"

"Restore the balance of good and evil?"

"Yes. You seem to be taking this easily."

"Well, years of training have drilled into me to take things as they are and adapt. Besides, what's the point in panicking? All that does is mess up your thinking and gives your opponent the advantage. 'Always have a clear head and be on your toes', that's what I've been taught. That and 'Shoot first and ask questions later.'" She smirked, but it soon faded. "There's something important I need to tell you."

"Yes?" The trio stopped by the stingray vehicle.

"There's…something else here. I don't know what. I haven't seen it, but I don't like it. I've tried to warn them."

"When?" asked Kida.

"And how?" Claire added. "You can't leave, right?"

Helga shook her head. "No. Why is that, anyway?"

"You've got an anchor here somewhere. It's an item that you once owned. You can only go where it goes. Since it's in the cave, you can't leave the cave. But you can't move it since you can't manipulate objects. Are you sure no one told you this?"

The former mercenary scowled. "If someone did, I would have known. What, was I supposed to get a pamphlet when I died?" Her eyes darted about suspiciously. "I don't want to be here anymore, and I don't want _it _to hear what I have to tell you. It's not safe. So, can we find this anchor thing and leave?"

Claire sighed as she looked over the piles of junk and twisted metal. "Anything in particular you can think of?"

"I had some guns I was fond of."

The two mortals began searching through plane and balloon remains. Kida tossed an old flare gun over her shoulder.

Helga was pulled, very quickly, kicking and screaming, after it.

Kida watched her, grinning. "I found it."

* * *

A/N: I wish I could say that I came up with that particular interpretation of Hell. However, the smart-alek Hell was created by the talented Tanya Huff and is found in all of The Keeper's Chronicles books.

Thank you, pinkparis, for the kind reviews and e-mails! I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. :)


	7. Ghosts,and Demons,and Angels,oh my!

A/N: Sailor Donut , thank you for your kind feedback! pinkparis, I'm so sorry I took so long to update! You've been such a dedicated reader and I feel bad that this took such a long time to write. I do have some decent excuses, but let's just skip those and get on with the story:)

* * *

Milo was happy to have a break. His whole morning had been "King Thatch, what do we do about…" "King Thatch, what is the problem with…" "King Thatch, can we fix…" "King Thatch, did you know your daughter left a crab in the teacher's desk again?" He would have to have a stern word with Lucille about that. Even if Professor Ta' Kashi was an insufferable know-it-all, and condescending towards the younger children, there were some things that a princess just did not do. If she pulled any more pranks like that, Milo would threaten to get a private tutor. Lucille hated that idea. It would mean that she would not get to spend as much time with the other children. Milo knew, deep down, that he would never really do that to her. Making friends had been tough for him, and he was overjoyed that Lucille had her own little clique of pals. He wasn't about to do anything to damage her friendships. 

"King, um, Milo, sir, would you like some lunch? I was just whipping up something for myself." Milo looked up to see Dean's smiling face poking out of the kitchen. The young man certainly felt at home anywhere he could do some kind of work or help someone. Atlantis's king suddenly realized he was hungry. The meetings had lasted past noon.

"Sure." Then as an afterthought, asked curiously, "Where's the cook?"

"Oh, he's been napping since right after breakfast, sir. I didn't want to wake him."

"Horribly inefficient, if you ask me," said a voice near Dean's feet. Both humans looked down at Austin. "You know, back in the old days, kings decapitated servants for pulling crap like that. I say, off with his head!"

"No," said Milo flatly.

"I suppose you know all about being inefficient," said Dean, as he mixed food in a bowl.

"What's that supposed to mean?" the cat asked.

"All you do is sleep and eat."

"I conserve and store energy for an emergency."

Dean sighed. You couldn't win an argument with a cat.

"Speaking of which," Austin continued, "I need to consume some energy."

"Yeah, yeah, calm down, Garfield. I'll get your lunch."

"I think," said Milo as he took a bowl and walked out of the kitchen with Dean and Austin behind him, "my life has reached its weirdness peak."

"No, Mr. Thatch," said an all too familiar voice behind him, causing him to drop the bowl, "your life is about to get a whole lot weirder."

Milo slowly turned around. "Jiminy Christmas! H-Helga? It's you! But I thought you were dead. Well, you are obviously, considering you're an ethereal being, but… Uh, how's death treating you?"

Claire looked around, checking for any unwanted spectators. "We should go someplace a little more private."

"Right," said Milo, who was trying very hard not to stare at Helga. "Um, the library." You could never go wrong with the library, in Milo's opinion. Glancing down at the spilled food on the floor, he said, "Wait just a moment so I can-"

"I'll get that, sir," said Dean.

"Thanks. Uh, just follow me." Milo grinned mischievously at Helga. "Don't drip ectoplasm on the Caravaggio." He led the group down the hall.

"Are you _sure_ I can't hit people?" Helga asked Claire.

* * *

Once everyone, including Dean, was in the library, Milo asked with a frown, "Okay, Helga, what's your little scheme?" 

Kida placed a hand on his arm. "Milo, Helga's sorry for what happened. I truly believe she wants to help us."

"Help us with what exactly?" asked Milo. "What did you find? Where's Helga been?"

"I've been haunting the cave where I died," said Helga. "But there's something in there other than me. Something evil." She narrowed her eyes.

"You've got a hole to Hell outside of your city," Claire said simply. "Now, normally, I can close these things up pretty easily, but-"

"I'm sorry," said Milo. "I could have sworn you said 'a hole to Hell'?"

"Yes," Claire answered.

"Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure I was hearing right… Jiminy Christmas! And this is normal for you!"

"Yes. What I was saying is that I can usually just seal it up, but it's in this little grotto that's been sealed off. I don't think I have enough power to blast down the wall. Plus, there's something else in there, I'm sure of it. Before I can close the hole, I have to get rid of whatever that thing is. I think I saw some markings in the dirt, and that usually means one thing."

"You don't mean?" breathed Dean.

"That's right," said Claire. "We've got a demon on our hands. Hell's plotting something big to use that much energy to create a demon."

"I am sorry," said Kida, "but I feel rather ignorant on the subject. What exactly are Hell and these demons you speak of?"

Milo folded his hands nervously, unsure exactly how to tackle the subject. "Hell is a domain in the Christian religions. It's a place where bad people go when they die, and they are subjected to punishment for their sins." He looked up at Claire. "So, it really exists?"

"Yes," she said again. "And so does the Hall of Osiris and Mount Olympus."

"There's an interesting story about that," started Dean.

Claire looked at him sharply. "I said that you were to never mention that again!"

"What? About the Hall of Osiris or about Olympus?" he asked, grinning innocently.

"You know."

"Well, how can I know what not to mention if you won't tell me what I can't mention?"

"Oh," said Austin. "I know what she means. She means you shouldn't tell them about how Hera got pissed off at her and turned her into a plant."

"You lead an extremely interesting life," said Milo as he watched the Keeper lunge for the cat.

"From my experience," Dean said, "demons are these creatures Hell creates to do its dirty work."

"But," said Claire as she glared at Austin, who was sitting on a bookshelf licking his tail, too high to reach, "it seems like it might be trapped with the pit. That's not normal. Usually, they can teleport from place to place. Unless…unless it wasn't completely made out of Hell's energy. If something else was used to create it…" She furrowed her brow. "And I know there's something else I'm forgetting…"

Taking Claire's silence as an end to the topic, Helga jumped in. "I've been trying to warn you two about this," she said to Kida and Milo. "I didn't exactly know what it was, I just knew something bad was happening."

"How could you try to warn us, if you couldn't leave?" asked Kida.

Helga exhaled slowly. "I couldn't actually physically leave to cavern, but there was a way mentally that I could. I figured out that ghosts could travel along this…this plane as long as there was a path available."

"You went into someone's subconscious," said Austin.

Helga looked up at the cat and nodded. "Right. I could only do this while someone was dreaming."

Milo's jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide. "You went into Lucille's dreams!"

"Yes. I knew if I had gone into yours, you would brush it off as guilt or as just a nightmare. And Kida wouldn't listen to me. She hated me too much."

"No offense, but it was justifiably so," said the queen. She smiled in a way that let Helga know she was joking.

"I thought I could get a warning out to you through your daughter."

"My gosh," whispered Milo. "I guess I was wrong about you, Helga. I'm sorry."

"Don't get mushy on me, Mr. Thatch," Helga said with a smirk.

"Claire," began Austin, "you do realize what happens when a demon is created, right?"

"Yeah, I get a headache and a whole lot more work," snapped the Keeper. She rested her chin on her folded hands and put her elbows on her knees.

"No." He shook his furry head. "The balance must be kept."

Claire lifted her head. "Holy sh…" She stopped herself. "Holy crap."

"What now?" asked Milo and Kida at once.

"You know how with an algebra equation, what you do to one side must be done to the other?" She watched them nod. "Well, if that's the case with the metaphysical, what do you think needs to happen to keep the balance when Hell creates a demon?"

Milo hazarded a guess. "Heaven… creates an… angel?"

Claire nodded.

"Jiminy Christmas!"

Austin sniggered. "I love it when he says that."

* * *

A/N: Hera did, in fact, turn Claire into a plant in _Summon the Keeper_. Claire visited the Hall of Osiris in _Long Hot Summoning_. 


	8. The Cat, the Keeper, and the Wardrobe

"So," began Kida, "how do we send the demon and angel back?"

Claire rubbed her temples, silently praying that she wasn't going to get a migraine anytime soon. "I'll send the demon back when I close the accident site. I'll send the angel back when I find it. As for Helga—"

"What about me?" the spirit asked suspiciously.

"Well, I thought maybe part of why I was summoned here was because you're a ghost that needs help crossing over. Go to your final destination and all that jazz."

Helga suddenly looked very uncomfortable. She walked over to a window and stared out, her back to the others. "I don't think I'm ready to go yet," she said quietly. After a long pause, she added, "I'm…I'm afraid." She scowled. "Go on, laugh."

After a short silence, Kida said, "There is nothing to laugh about. Even brave warriors are scared in battle."

The former mercenary turned to face them; her transparent form shimmering slightly as she became more emotional. "But I wasn't a great, brave warrior. Most of the time I wasn't even a good person. If I were to 'cross over', what do you honestly think would happen to me?"

Milo stared down at his hands, which were folded on his lap. "I didn't know you that well, Helga. I still don't. But I don't think that, deep down, you're a really horrible person. I think you really do care about people. For instance, when that fire started at the camp, you didn't just hide and hoped someone else would deal with it. You took command. When we were driving to the city, I heard you say that people being here changed everything." He smiled when he saw her shocked expression. "Just because I was babbling like a kid at Christmas doesn't mean I wasn't listening, too. In retrospect I should have been more suspicious, but…" He shrugged a shoulder. "And you can't forget your last act of defiance. The balloon would have made it out of the volcano if you hadn't shot it."

Helga glanced at the gun, her "anchor", lying on the couch. Then she looked into Milo's big, brown, earnest eyes. Why did he have to be so damn nice and forgiving? Why couldn't he just let her wallow in self-loathing? And Kida was just as bad. Crossing her arms over her chest, she muttered, "Thanks."

"Aw," gushed Austin from his perch on the bookshelf, "someone needs a hug."

She smirked at the cat. "You want to lose one of your nine lives, kitty?"

"We can hold off on the whole crossing over thing until I get this mess fixed," said Claire.

"First, we should find the angel," Dean suggested. "Chances are, it's confused after suddenly arriving on Earth."

"What will it do?" asked Kida.

"Wander around aimlessly doing good deeds," Claire answered. "But Dean's right; it'll be confused, frightened, and could easily be taken advantage of."

"What will it look like?" asked Milo. A childlike look of wonder and hope crossed his features. "Glowing people, with big, feathery wings and long robes and a halo sort of thing?"

Claire hated to disappoint him. "Uh, not really. At first, they're these forms of light, until they take a definite shape. From my experience, they just look human. Wings are a little too conspicuous." He seemed so saddened that she had to add, "But they can glow, though….a tiny bit…around the head…if you ask."

"Will it be anyone that we know?" The eagerness had returned.

Claire shook her head. "Contrary to popular belief, angels are not dead people. They are separate entities entirely from the human race."

Austin cleared his throat loudly, interrupting her. "It is said, though, that if you do something, like, say, sacrifice yourself for the life of another before you die, the soul can achieve angelic status. So, technically, an angel could be made from the soul of a dead person."

"I have never heard of that happening."

"A lot of people have never heard a cat talk, either." Austin licked the tip of his tail.

"They're just smart enough to tune you out." The Keeper turned to the king. "Why do you ask?"

Milo blushed. "It's—it's nothing, really." He was only quiet for a second before he decided to continue. "My parents died when I was a little kid, and I believed that they were angels watching over me. I guess it's silly, huh?" He scratched the back of his head, looking sheepish.

Dean smiled sympathetically. "I thought the same thing when I was young." When Milo looked up, Dean explained, "My parents died when I was a baby. My grandpa raised me."

Milo nodded with a knowing smile. "Same here."

"Hey Claire," Austin said in a singsong voice. "That's _two_. You shouldn't have argued with me about the whole 'Heroes don't need glasses thing'."

"What do glasses have to do with being a hero?" Milo asked, amused.

Claire rolled her eyes while Austin spoke, "Back when I figured out Dean was going to be needed at a big accident site, I said he was a Hero. You both fit all of the major qualifications. No parents, raised by an authority figure with strong beliefs, modest. Being strong and naturally athletic tends to go along with that, but an exception can be made if the Hero is very intelligent and uses his wits. _She _actually argued with me on the point,saying that no one had ever heard of a hero with glasses." He looked down at Claire. "HA!"

Claire sniffed. "I bet you couldn't name a third…and Clark Kent doesn't count. That was a fake prescription."

Without a pause, Austin said, "Bruce Banner."

"Oh, come on! He was only a hero after he turned into the Hulk."

"Oh, he counts. Extremely intelligent, dead parents, and risked his life to save others. Plus, he's the only man who can successfully wear purple pants."

"You need to quit reading comic books."

Milo cleared his throat. "So, where's this angel going to be?"

Claire held up her hands with a shrug. "You see, the easy thing about demons is that they will appear by the Hell hole. Angels…well, they can pop up anywhere. Although they seem to appear where there is a lot of metaphysical energy."

Dean, who had been sitting back on the couch with his hands behind his head, suddenly sat up, blinking. "Somewhere where, say, there's a powerful Keeper? Someone who could probably help it get back or help it sort out its sudden Earthly existence?" He smiled and arched his eyebrows over his lenses.

Claire furrowed her brow. "I don't think its here. I'd be getting stronger vibes if it was."

Austin jumped down from his perch and onto Claire's lap, nearly knocking the wind out of her. He turned so that he was facing her. "What Dean is trying to say in a nice way is: Why don't you put aside your ego for a minute here? There are more powerful Keepers out there than you, you know."

"And," Dean added, "the guesthouse does have the reputation for attracting some of the most _unusual _clientele." Putting up a finger for each, he began to list: "Vampires, ancient gods, werewolves, mummies…" The handyman shuddered at the last one. Just a few months ago, a soul-sucking mummy had nearly drained him of his life force. "And Hell."

"And Hell's imps," hissed Austin hatefully, glaring with his one eye.

"Okay, okay," Claire gave in with a sigh. "So, we assume this angel showed up at the Elysian Fields. Now, how do we contact," she exhaled another frustrated sigh through clenched teeth, "Diana?"

"Possibilities?" suggested Milo.

"Yeah, but I need something to use it with."

"Oh, you mean the magical possibilities. I was just asking if anyone could think of any possibilities." He smiled his quirky, lopsided smile.

Claire frowned. "If only I had my cell phone…" As soon as the words left her mouth, a low buzzing started in her head. Something started to urge her towards the hallway. She stood up and walked out of the library, the possibilities leading her. With a shrug, Dean got up and the others followed suite, with Kida carrying Helga's gun so the ghost could tag along.

Helga glided up alongside Dean. "Where are we going? What is the Elysian Fields? And who is Diana?"

The muscular young man answered, "Don't rightly know what she's after doing. The Elysian Fields is a guest house we own, which, Diana, Claire's teenage sister, is currently watching over while we're gone." The group turned down a hallway.

"So, what has Miss Keeper of the Balance of the Universe acting so weird?"

"This." Claire stopped, causing Dean to stop, which made Milo crash into Dean, and Kida to run into Milo. Austin just calmly walked around all of them.

Milo adjusted his glasses. "This is just a storage room," he said, addressing the door they stood in front of.

"Yeah, well, it has something I need." Claire pushed the door open and stepped inside. The room was small, with two little windows in the far right wall, and several full boxes, trunks, and chests in large stacks. Standing against the wall adjacent to the doorway was an enormous oak wardrobe. "A-ha. Exactly what I suspected."

"It was a wedding gift from Mr. Whitmore." Kida stood beside Claire. "We have not cleared out the space in our room for it yet."

"You've had this for nearly a century and you haven't put it in your room yet? How much time do you need?" demanded Austin. Helga chuckled.

It had two doors, each with a handle made of gold. Carved into the wood was a beautiful vine design, complete with detailed roses. "Tell me," asked Claire as she inspected the furniture, "does Mr. Whitmore collect a lot of oddities?"

"If you consider the holy grail, Excalibur, and shrunken heads oddities, then yes," Milo answered. "Why? Is this…magical?" He tapped it tentatively.

Claire grasped the gold handles and opened the doors with a grand flourish that just sent up a large cloud of dust. After coughing and hacking for nearly a minute, the Keeper inspected the inside. It looked like the average wardrobe. The middle was an empty closet-like space to hang up clothes and it had a rack for the hangers. On the floor were two small drawers. The inside of the left door was adorned with a large mirror. The right door had a note engraved into it in beautiful calligraphy:

Dear King Milo and Queen Kidagakash,

I hope you enjoy this little token of my esteem. I wish you the best of luck on your journey through your new lives together. Knowing the love you two share for adventure, I thought this would be the perfect gift.

Warmest regards,

Preston Whitmore

"But what could a wardrobe do?" asked Helga. "Other than hold clothes."

Claire wiped away the cobwebs that covered the mirror, and said, "Connect me to the Elysian Fields Guesthouse." To the amazement of Kida, Milo, and Helga, their reflections vanished and were replaced with a view of a small, cluttered room. It was clearly a motel room, with a counter that housed two little sinks that were adjacent to the bathroom door, and a blaring television set that sat on a dresser. Clothes lay in crumpled piles on the floor. On the unmade twin bed sat an orange tabby.

"Sam!" Claire had to yell to be heard over the rap music video. "SAM!"

The cat jumped, then pressed down on the volume button on the T. V. remote. Turing, he spotted Claire and the others in the mirror over the bathroom counter. "Hi, Claire!" he called out brightly.

"Jiminy Christmas, another one," Milo muttered.

"Sam, has anyone… _unique_ shown up?" Claire asked.

Before the cat could answer, a toilet flushed and a young woman stepped out of the bathroom. She was about eighteen, with short, blond hair, jeans that were a size too big, and a baby doll tee with the Canadian flag on it. Humming loudly, she washed her hands and completely ignored Claire as she repeatedly called out, "Diana!"

After thoroughly drying her hands, the girl finally looked up at the mirror, grinning broadly. "Hi, sis!"

"Hello, Diana," Claire replied, trying not to glower. "Taking good care of the Elysian Fields?"

"Of course. Why? Don't you trust me?"

"Not as far as I could throw you, but Mom and Dad were too busy to house sit."

"I love you, too."

Claire allowed herself a small smile. Sure Diana was a big pain in the butt sometimes, and was terribly irresponsible, and tended to act before she thought things through, and mouthed off a lot, but she was dependable, and she did love her. She guessed as far as little sisters went, Diana wasn't the worst she could have been stuck with. "How's Kris?"

"Good. She's doing volunteer work, helping little kids who've been abused." Diana sighed wistfully. "She's so sweet like that." The image that came to Claire's mind was not of Diana's girlfriend talking to children in therapy sessions, but of the teenager putting a serious hurt on some very deserving adults. If there was one thing Kris couldn't stand, it was men putting their hands where they didn't belong, and if any girls had gone through what she did when she was a child, she would see to it that whomever did it would pay.

"How's Dean and the kitty? I know Austin hid in your suitcase." Diana attempted to look around Claire's shoulder. "Oh, there's Dean. Hi Dean!" she waved. "The kitchen sink is clogged up."

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'll be after getting it when we come home."

"Ooh, and who else is with you?"

Claire went through quick introductions. "Here's Milo, king of Atlantis. Kida, queen of Atlantis. Helga Sinclair, ghost who's been haunting next to a portal to Hell. Look, I have something important to ask—"

"Wow, did you say Atlantis? You know, I always knew it existed. You argued with me once and-"

"Not right now, Diana. Has—"

Diana kept on talking, her attention now diverted to the royal couple. "Hey, bitchin' tats! I was thinking about getting a little purple and black butterfly on my—"

"DIANA!" Claire practically screamed.

"What?" the blond asked innocently, grinning playfully.

"Listen very carefully," Claire said slowly, as if talking to a small child. "Has an angel shown up at the guesthouse?"

"Funny you should mention that…" From somewhere in the kitchen came a loud BOOM! Tendrils of smoke wafted in under the bedroom door. "Yeah. That'll be him."

* * *

A/N: Marvel owns Bruce Banner and the Hulk. The "Hero argument" came up in _Summon the Keeper. _Kris and Sam are Tanya Huff creations. Sam was introduced in _The Second Summoning_ and Kris first appeared in _Long Hot Summoning_. 

Thank you for the reviews, Rose9999 and Black Cat and pinkparis! I'm sorry the update took so long.


	9. An Explosive Angel

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has left reviews! I'm sorry this is a short chapter.

* * *

Diana rolled her eyes and flung open the door. "What did you do this time?" Through the smoke, those on the Atlantis side of the mirror couldn't see who it was. After a fit of coughing, a gloved hand appeared through the smoke and waved it away. Still hacking, the figure stepped into Diana's room, although he had a bit of difficulty getting his huge, feathery, smoldering wings through the door way. He licked the tips of his thumb and forefinger and then rubbed out the tiny flame on a feather near his shoulder.

"I thought I could-ah, you know, unclog the kitchen sink." He took a matchstick out of his pocket and chewed on the end of it thoughtfully. "But-ah, I think I went about it the wrong way. Everythin' was goin' fine, and then BOOM, no more sink."

"Lord thunderin' Jesus!" Dean shrieked. Claire patted his shoulder. His right eye was twitching.

Milo, who had remained silent since the small explosion, finally cried out, "VINNY!"

"Yeah," the angel was still muttering to himself. "I shouldn't have put in that bit-ah dynamite… Maybe a cherry bomb…yeah, I'll try a cherry bomb. I should have-a some of those somewhere…" He began digging through his pockets. "Road flare… a bit of wire… nitro-"

"Vinny!" Milo yelled again, hoping to get the rambling Italian's attention.

The angel finally looked up and into the mirror. "Oh, hi Milo," he said casually. Peering at him closely, he asked, "Are you wearin' a toga?"

The king glanced down at his azure garb and then shook his head. "That's not important. Vinny, how did… _that_," he gestured to the wings, "happen?" His voice cracked slightly at the thought of one of his friends dying.

"That's-ah kinda interestin' story." He scratched his cheek. He had hardly changed since Milo and Kida last saw him. Other than a few wrinkles around his eyes, the major difference, other than the wings and the glowing ring floating over his head, was a little bit of silver in his hair and mustache. He even seemed to be wearing the same black sweater. "You see—" He was interrupted as a loud bell clanged in the distance.

Milo turned to Kida. "School's out. I'll go-"

His wife put a hand on his shoulder. "No, I will get her." Smiling, she added, "Stay and reminisce while you can."

Before she was out of earshot, Milo yelled, "Ta' Kashi might want a word with you."

Kida turned on her heel. "What…"

"Crab in the desk."

"Ah." She muttered something in Atlantean that Milo didn't bother translating for the others. With light, silent footsteps, she was gone.

Claire stared at Vinny for a moment. "I take it you're handy with explosives?" She elbowed Dean, who was grumbling under his breath.

The Italian nodded. "That's an interestin' story, too. You see, my parents owned this flower shop. We would sell-ah roses, carnations, baby's breath, you name it…"

"Um," Claire interrupted before he could continue one of his favorite anecdotes, "Vinny, was it? I think I'm going to need your help." She ignored Austin's sarcastic gasps of amazement and mutterings of "You? Ask for help?" Looking at Diana, she said, "pack me and Dean a change of clothes." When Diana arched an eyebrow in a perfect imitation of her sister, Claire added, "Please. Send them here by tossing them into my wardrobe and have Vinny go through, too."

"Can do," replied Diana cheerfully with a salute. The image suddenly went dark.

"In a few minutes Vinny will come out here," explained Claire.

"How?" asked Helga, now inspecting the empty case.

"Well, wardrobes have been thought to be portals to other worlds for years," Milo explained. "You find that in old fairy tales and myths. I just never thought that Mr. Whitmore would have one, or that anything like that actually existed."

"Not only are magical closets real," said Austin, "but if you put out old shoes at night, elves pop in and repair them."

"Wow, really?"

"No. God, you're gullible." Austin chuckled. "Elves don't exist."

Grinning, Helga pretended to hide her laughter with a cough.

The mirror flickered back on and Diana grinned back at them. "Okay, I think I got enough stuff for you and Dean." She held up a gym bag. "And I was wondering if you would like to have this, too." In her other hand she held up a hanger with a very risqué nightgown on it. Dean's ears turned scarlet and Milo looked away and coughed into his fist, blushing.

"Diana…" Claire warned through clenched teeth.

She shook the hanger so that the lace nightie swished from side to side. "I figured you could use it for one of those nights when you just wanna snuggle up with Dean."

"Diana!"

"What was this anyway? Anniversary gift?" Before her sister could scream again, Diana grinned and placed the nightgown out of view. "Okay, okay, sheesh. You can't take a joke." She rolled her eyes. "I'll send 'em over." She dashed out of the room, clutching the bag in her hand and returned a moment later sans bag. "Ready Vinny?" she called over her shoulder. From Claire's room, they heard him reply, "Ready!" "Okay, step though and just keep thinking about Atlantis."

Claire, Milo, Dean, and even Helga took a step back. From out of the empty space in the wardrobe Vinny materialized. His feet planted firmly on the floor, he looked around with his usual laid-back smile and said, "Okay, that was kinda weird." He handed Claire the gym bag and brushed a bit of dust off his feathers. He shook her hand. "Vincenzo Santorini at your service. But-ah, call me Vinny."

She happened to glance downward. The metal crotch plate, worn over his pants, caught her off guard. "Claire Hansen," she said, quickly looking back up.

"Dean McIssac," Dean introduced himself. "About how much damage was done to the sink?"

Vinny didn't answer. He was glaring at Helga. "It's okay," said Milo. "She's sorry for what she did." He smiled. "She's a whole new Helga."

"If you say so, Milo," muttered Vinny, still staring at her.

"Okay, just ignore me here!" shouted Diana from the mirror. "Not like I did anything worth thanking…"

Claire turned to face her. "Thanks Diana."

"Aw, you're welcome, sis!" She waved to the group. "Bye Claire! Bye Dean! Bye Miltch!"

"Milo Thatch," Milo quietly corrected.

"Bye Kida, wherever you are! Bye Vinny! Bye Helga!"

"Hey, you're forgetting me," Austin snapped indignantly.

"I could never forget you. Kisses for kitty!" She blew kisses at him. "If you need anything Claire, don't hesitate to call. And I mean _anything!_" The mirror went black.

"She's, um, interesting," said Milo, scratching the back of his head.

"As different as night and day, huh?" asked Helga.

"That's an understatement." Claire peeked out into the corridor. "You guys have guards, right?"

Milo nodded. He was lost in thought. "But not everywhere. We can hide him in-"

"The library," Austin finished the sentence.

"I'm not that predictable, am I?" the scholar asked as they walked down the hallway.

"Why, Jiminy Christmas, no!"

"Great. I'm being mocked by a cat."

"Happens to the best of us," said Dean sympathetically.


	10. Story Time with Vinny

A/N: As mentioned in chapter two, some Atlantean appears translated to English in these (()).

* * *

Kida briskly walked down the village road, calling out greetings as people waved to her. All the way to Lucille's school she politely refused gift baskets, told people that bowing was not necessary, and returned quick hugs. 

The restoration process that had taken place in the city made it as glorious and stunning as it had been thousands of years ago. Had she not been out to pick up her daughter and if certain supernatural entities were not waiting in the palace for her return, she would have lingered a little longer to take in the sights and smells of all of the concession stands and tents filled with wares. It was such a wonderful feeling knowing that all of the Atlanteans were prosperous, their culture and way of life thriving.

"I know I run the risk of sounding like Thatch, but it really is beautiful," said a non-Atlantean voice behind Kida.

"Yes, it—" Kida stopped and turned on her heel. But there was nobody there. "Helga?"

The invisible entity sighed. "Yeah, it's me. You forgot to leave my gun with the others." Instinctively, the queen put a hand on her hip and felt the bulge of the weapon in a pouch tied around her waist. She grimaced and offered an awkward apologetic smile. The ghost continued. "I didn't even think about it. I suppose at about the time you got to the palace's foyer, that's when I was being dragged along like a dog on a short leash. You should have seen the look on everyone's faces."

"Sorry, Helga. Would you like me to ask someone to run it back to the palace?"

"No. I think I actually enjoy it out here. It reminds me of some of the villages I stayed in during my missions." The white-haired queen could imagine the dead blond with her arms crossed across her chest, looking around, pretending to be indifferent in her apparent amazement. "To think I tried to bring all of this to an end…"

They walked—well, Kida walked, Helga glided—in awkward silence until they reached a large, blue tent that served as a classroom for the children in their first year of school. A smaller tent, connected by a large flap that served as a door, was at the front of the right side of the room. It served as a private quarter for the teacher, and since Ta' Kashi was nowhere to be seen, Kida guessed that was where he was at the moment. Most of the youths had left, a couple of children were still collecting their supplies with the help of patient parents, and a few were serving detention and pouting in a corner. At the front of the classroom, standing in front of a large chalkboard, was Lucille, with chalk in hand. She had written "I will not put crabs in my teacher's desk" ninety-nine times in Atlantean.

The queen walked up behind the princess silently and then put her hands over her eyes. ((Guess who?))

Lucille spun around, wearing a quirky grin just like her father's. "Mahtim!" she cried happily. Her blue and brown eyes sparkled joyously with the pure jubilation of seeing her mother after a long, boring day at school. Kida hugged her tightly and then picked her up.

((How was school?))

Lucille sighed huffily, causing a blond strand of hair to float up. ((Professor Ta' Kashi made me write sentences.)) She gestured to the blackboard with a tilt of her head. Leaning towards her mother's ear she whispered in English, "He's such a jerk!"

"Lucille!" Kida reprimanded with a playful tone. She, too, had never cared much for the teacher. Although, she would have to get onto Milo about which words of the English language he could and could not say around their young daughter.

"He is!" the princess retorted defensively.

Kida grinned and rubbed the end of her nose against Lucille's. "I never said I didn't agree with you." Mother and daughter shared a chuckle at this. They were interrupted as someone cleared his throat. The two stopped laughing with sheepish looks as Ta' Kashi stepped out of his private room and into the class.

((Ah, Queen Kidagakash!)) He greeted her with a slight bow. ((I was just catching up on some of my grading. To what do I owe this immense pleasure?)) He was a short man, pot-bellied, with an array of bright blue tattoos adorning his arms and face. A long, white, scraggly beard that had not been trimmed in months grew down to his chest. The bridge of his large, hawk nose was slightly crooked, as if it had been broken and not properly healed years ago. His dark blue robe was far too long, and Kida wondered if her tripped over it a lot. The thought almost made her giggle out loud, but she bit her lower lip and held it back. A mortarboard cap, a shade lighter than the robe, was perched askew on his head, hiding a bald spot.

She carefully placed her daughter back onto the floor and bowed her own head slightly. ((Hello, Professor Ta' Kashi. I was just stopping by to pick up Lucille.))

He grinned back at her, the smile not reaching his blue eyes at all. ((She's a very bright girl, but…)) Here he shot Lucille a look and she glared back at him from behind her mother's legs. ((She's very, heh, mischievous. Just like you were at that age.))

Kida's lips turned up into a flicker of a smile at her childhood memories. Many times she had been grounded by her father for playing pranks on Professor Ta' Kashi. Those hours spent standing with her nose in a corner and her backside sore from a spanking were always well worth it. Pulling herself out of her reminiscing, she cleared her throat and wiped any trace of a smile off her face. ((My apologies, professor.))

He nodded in acknowledgement with a noncommittal grunt. ((I trust you and the king have been well?))

((Yes, sir. If you don't mind, I do need to get back.))

((Oh, yes. Queenly duties and all that, I suppose?)) He chuckled hollowly. ((Have a pleasant evening, Queen Kidagakash.))

((Thank you. You too, Professor.)) She took Lucille's hand and led her out of the tent and out into the bustling streets.

"What was that all about?" asked Helga.

"Nothing important," replied Kida. She had almost forgotten about Helga. And she had completely forgotten that Lucille had no clue she was there.

The little girl's multicolored eyes were wide. "Who said that?"

Helga groaned. "Forgot about the kid."

"She will show you who she is when we get back home," Kida said softly. "Right now, she has to stay invisible."

"Oh… Why?"

"Because she might frighten other people," Kida explained.

"Oh…Why? Is she really ugly?"

Helga glowered, although it was pointless since no one could see her. "No."

Lucille turned to the disembodied voice. "Do you have two heads?"

"No."

"Five legs?"

"No!"

"Six arms?" Each new imagined mutation thrilled Lucille. "How about eight eyes?"

"No and no!"

Kida laughed. "Just wait until we get home. Everything will be explained."

The five-year-old sighed in defeat. "Okay." Then she added, "How about webbed feet?"

"Arrgh!" was Helga's only reply.

* * *

Milo and Austin greeted them at the entrance of the palace when they arrived. "Tabtoap!" Lucille cried out. She ran into her father's waiting arms. He picked her up, spun around with her, and then put her on his shoulders. 

"How was school?"

"Professor Ta' Kashi made me write sentences for putting the crab in his desk."

"Why did you that, anyway? That's not like you."

She shrugged one shoulder. "He said he was smarter than you."

Milo laughed. "That's my gi-" He stopped immediately and cleared his throat when Kida crossed her arms over her chest and arched an eyebrow. "I mean, you know your mother and I don't approve of such behavior."

After quickly checking for any unwanted spectators, Helga materialized. "Hi, cat."

"It's about time someone noticed me," snapped Austin. "Hey, Helga." He snickered. "You should have seen the look on your face as you went flying out of here. Pure hilarity. I want a framed picture of that."

"Do you want land mines in your litter box, too?"

After Putting Lucille back down on the floor, Milo asked, "Do you have any homework?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "Lots."

"Go ahead a get a snack and take a break. I bet your hand is pretty cramped after all that writing. I'll help you with your homework later."

She nodded, and then turned to see Helga for the first time. "She's the woman from my dream! The one with the mark on her face!"

"Hey, kid," the spirit said with a sigh.

"What is she doing here, tabtoap?"

"I'll explain that later, too." Milo gave Lucille one last hug before she ran off to the kitchen.

"She's cute," Helga admitted. "When she's quiet. The girl never stops asking questions."

"She gets that from me," Milo said with a grin. "Don't worry, you haven't missed much," he added as the two mortals, ghost, and cat walked back to the library.

"Vinny's just been regaling us with his exciting life story," Austin explained sarcastically. "Right now, he's telling us about his high school years."

"He does have a gift for gab, doesn't he?" Milo chuckled.

Austin rolled his one yellow eye. "'Gift' he calls it. Telekinesis is a gift. Psychic abilities are a gift. Being able to forge people's signatures, that's a gift. This thing he has is a curse. And from what I've heard, Lord knows how this man became an angel. He had to have done something really great to achieve that status."

* * *

"I was wonderin' when you guys would get back," said the angel as the quartet stepped in. Claire, who had been dozing with her head on Dean's shoulder, woke up with a start as Milo closed the library door. "I was just getting' to my death." He cleared his throat. "History likes repeatin' itself, you know. I had gotten another flower shop shortly after our little expedition. I was thinkin' about retiring after working for 'bout eighty years… or was it seventy-five? No, no, I think it was 'bout eighty. Yeah, eighty. Although, I had taken Sundays off. And August. I always took August off. 

"Anyway, there was a leak of gas or something next door and BOOM, no more Chinese buffet. Chow-mien and rice was rainin' down everywhere. They were cleaning that stuff up for weeks. There were chunks of peking duck all over my roof. I step out of my shop and see everyone runnin' around and there's sirens in the distance, you know. As I got closer, I heard something crying, and no one else was going in after it, so I rushed into the burning restaurant. There was smoke everywhere, but my lungs have kinda built up a tolerance after being around it so long. After I run in, I find this little kitten in there. So I picked him up and ran for the door. But these beams had fallen and blocked it off. So, I found a window and punched it out. I got cuts and slices all over my hand. But you can't see them anymore 'cause of the angel thing. I tossed out the kitten, and before I can climb out the window… BAM! Ceiling falls in on me. No more Vinny." He chewed on the end of a matchstick thoughtfully and scratched his cheek.

"So, saving a kitten turns you into an angel?" asked Helga.

"Can you think of any greater deed?" asked Austin.

"What's with the glowing ring and the wings?" asked Dean.

Vinny shrugged one shoulder and nearly knocked over a stack of books on a nearby table with his feathery appendage. "I thought it was how we were supposed to look."

"Now that that mystery is solved," said Claire with surprising determination, "it's time to figure out how we seal up that hole and vanquish the demon."

"'Vanquish the demon'?" Austin sniggered. "You sound like Buffy."

Claire glared at him. "I said to never, ever mention that name again in my presence."

"Buffy." He jumped away from her grasp and onto a bookshelf. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy."

"It really is amazing that the world ever gets saved at all," Dean joked as Claire lunged at the chanting cat.

* * *

Some more A/N: Thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews. I'm glad so many people are enjoying this! In case you didn't know, I'm a review vampire. Reviews sustain me! You wouldn't want to let ol' Aquarian Wolf starve, would you? 

Ta' Kashi is a character I created. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer.


	11. Conspiracies

Out of the city, across the lava river, in the caves, and behind a nearly sealed off wall, Hell was whining. Hell liked to whine. It was one of the things it did best. However, if you were to point out that it was, it would probably fling fire and brimstone at you. And then go back to whining.

HE PROMISED US!

DON'T WORRY MY PRECIOUS, Hell hissed, ALL IN GOOD TIME.

BAD TIME.

HUH?

FORGET IT.

"Gentlemen," a hoarse voice croaked from the shadows, "ladies, all conceivable evil, I would like to know when it's my turn to get out."

WHEN WE DAMN WELL FEEL LIKE IT! Hell snapped.

HEH, DAMN WELL. WE'RE FUNNY.

WE SHOULD DO A COMEDY ROUTINE!

The demon glowered. It did not like to wait around, especially when such a wonderful treasure was to be had. "I have to wait for _her, _don't I?" it demanded. "After all these years, you still don't have the power to set me free!"

Annoyed by both the mouthy creature and the situation, Hell muttered, POWERFUL MAGIC BLOCKS THE WAY. THE KEEPER, THE GOOD ONE, MUST SET US FREE.

"And we can rely on her to do that?" asked the demon, intrigued.

OH, SHE'LL HAVE TO. Hell cackled. AND THEN…HA HA! AND THEN WE'LL RULE THE WORLD! MWAH-HA-HA-HAA!

Satisfied, and a bit creeped out by the bipolar metaphysical energy, the demon walked over to a dark corner to think. It did a lot of thinking and a lot of plotting. The plan relied on a careful strategy. Chuckling to itself, it went over in its mind once again how it would steal the Heart from Hell. When you got right down to it, Hell was stupid. It could not accomplish anything on its own, which was why it needed the Keepers. The first one had been a bit disappointing, but he had done most of his part. They just had to wait for the good one to come around.

It should not take too long.

Hell waited until the demon skulked away.

HEY, it hissed. One could imagine the light jabbing of an elbow into ribs with that statement.

WHAT?

Stifling back giggles, Hell said, I HAVE THIS BASEBALL TEAM. WHO'S ON FIRST, WHAT'S ON SECOND, I DON'T KNOW IS ON THIRD…

WHO'S ON FIRST?

WHO.

I DON'T GET IT.

Hell sighed, sending up flickers of flame. NEVERMIND.

* * *

Dean looked back down at the list. He had been sent to do some grocery shopping while Claire was still explaining things to Vinny. Santorini seemed like a nice guy. He just had an unhealthy love for explosives. Dean looked over the wares in the various tents. He liked Atlantis. There was something sort of "small town" about it. He had a feeling that this was the sort of place where everyone knew everyone else. The people seemed so friendly and nice. He made a mental note to remember how to teach them to play hockey before he left. "I seriously doubt," said the young man to the feline by his feet, "that there'll be nitroglyc—Hey, what do you know?" Picking up a bottle, he carefully examined it. After a brief exchange when the proprietor of the booth, he paid him and oh so carefully placed the container into a basket. 

Above the bustling city, the Heart of Atlantis hovered, as if keeping watch over the citizens. Around it, the Kings of the Past, stone with the likenesses of previous rulers faces, floated around it. Shielding his eyes, Dean looked up at it. "Wow," he breathed. "It's really beautiful, isn't it?"

"I've seen prettier crystals in my kitty litter," replied Austin.

"I wonder," continued Dean, once again ignoring the cat's cynical comment, "what keeps it up there? How does it know to choose a royal host of it needs to?"

"Probably some sort of spiritual, metaphysical energy that's locked into the genetics of those of royal blood." He snorted. "But I'm just a cat. What do I know of ancient, mystical civilizations?"

"Ah, greetings!" oozed a voice behind the cat and the Keeper's boyfriend.

"Lord thunderin' Jesus!" Dean jumped, letting go of the basket. With a not too graceful dive, he grabbed it, barely avoiding the destruction of several dozen shops and sellers. Dusting himself off, he turned to face the speaker.

It was a short man, plump, with a greasy beard. His mortarboard cap had a stain on it that made Dean want to wash his hands repeatedly. Dean could see the man's toes sticking out of his sandals. He seriously needed to trim his toenails, or at least scrub his feet.

"My apologies," the stranger said, grinning, "I did not mean to startle you." After bowing his head, he continued, "I am correct in assuming that you are one of the new visitors to Atlantis that I've heard so much about?"

"Yes," answered Dean. Out of habit, he held out one hand. It did not matter how disgusting he thought someone was. Dean, could not, for the life of him, be rude. "Dean McIssac."

The older man stared at Dean's hand for a moment and then chuckled. "You'll have to forgive my rudeness." He grasped Dean's hand and briefly shook it. "I'm a bit unfamiliar with surface world customs. I am Professor Ta' Kashi of the Atlantean Institute of Learning. You're shopping this afternoon, too, I see."

If Ta' Kashi had been shopping, Dean would not have been able to tell. The plump professor carried no basket or bags. He was empty-handed.

With his pale blue eyes, Ta' Kashi peered down at Austin. "What a fluffy little…thing." He reached out a hand to pet the cat.

Austin hissed at him, fur standing out crazily, his one eye wide. Bracing against Dean's legs, he continued spitting until Ta' Kashi pulled his fingers away.

"He's a bit aggressive, isn't he?" the teacher laughed nervously.

"Austin's not a people cat," Dean explained, keeping a steady eye on the other man.

"Ah. And you bring him out in public?"

Dean had to admit, Ta' Kashi almost had him there. Grinning a moronic grin, the handyman said, "He just _loves_ going grocery shopping with his daddy!" Dean picked up the cat in one arm and kissed the top of his head. "Yes he do!"

Too softly for Ta' Kashi to hear, Austin hissed into Dean's ear, "I will castrate you in your sleep."

Smiling in such a way that it seemed a great effort on his part, Ta' Kashi said, "How adorable. I must apologize, but I have to take my leave now. Enjoy the rest of your stay in our fair city." With one last little decline of the head, he scuttled off.

After the slimy man had disappeared into the crowd, Dean slowly put Austin back down onto the ground. "Why," demanded the cat, "did you do that?"

"I wanted him to go away."

"Oh."

"And I never get the chance to do stuff like that to you in public."

Austin bit Dean's ankle.

"Ow! Leave some flesh, will you!" Dean tenderly rubbed his leg.

"Why did you want him to leave?" asked Austin suspiciously. He was testing the young man. If anyone should keep Dean on alert, it was he. Maybe, Austin thought, Dean was becoming more perceptive to the world of the supernatural.

After a few seconds of careful thought, Dean answered, "He had a clammy handshake. Good, honest men have firm handshakes."

Austin groaned. Oh well. So long as the man was able to get the correct answer, who cared how he reached the conclusion?

After they had been walking around the marketplace for a little while, Dean decided to strike up a conversation. "So," he began slowly, using that same drawn out "so" that begins all personal questions, "what's with you and Helga?"

Austin stopped, and stared up at him sharply. "What?"

Dean shrugged. "You like her."

"I do not! I'm a cat! She's a person…a dead person!"

"I've seen the way you look at her. It's not with contempt."

"So?" Nervously, he licked his shoulder.

"And you laugh at all of her jokes."

"She's funny. You laugh when funny people tell jokes. Because they're funny."

Shrugging again, Dean said, "Fine, stay in denial." Glancing at the list, he exclaimed, "Where am I going to find cherry bombs?"

Scowling, Austin stomped on. Love? Hah! What did Dean know? Nothing!

Looking around, he spotted a bush full of beautiful flowers. No one would notice if he took one. With conspiratorial glances, he grasped a stem in his teeth and pulled. Following behind Dean, he carried the flower in his mouth. Helga would like it.

* * *

A/N: "Who's On First?" is a classic comedy routine that was created by Abbot and Costello. 


	12. Bedtime Story

Helga paced, her feet three inches above the floor. Thumb against her jaw, pointer finger cupping her chin, she was lost in thought. Guilt nagged her constantly, but that was something she had gotten used to by now. The blond ghost had dealt with inner turmoil for years. It was like an old, albeit annoying, friend. Without it, who was she? The ectoplasmic ex-mercenery? Helga: The friendly ghost? Was that what she was doomed to being?

Of course, there was that whole "crossing over" thing Claire told her about. But honestly, where would she go? That stupid pit would finally have her. She could hear it's smug voices again, taunting her, calling out to her. And that _thing_, the demon. She never saw it face-to-face, she had just heard it hissing in the shadows. It--she didn't want to admit it, but deep down she knew it was true--scared her. Demons, angels, and talking cats were _not _supposed to be real. _She_ wasn't supposed to be real! Ghosts were the things of campfire stories, tales at sleep-overs. Automatic weapons, daggers, hand-to-hand combat: that's what she understood. Those things were real!

"Hey, look what I can do!" Vinny's voice snapped Helga out of her reverie. She turned and looked at her fellow "not supposed to be real" creature. The angel had his eyes scrunched up in concentration. With a gentle hum, like that of a nightlight, a glowing ring appeared above his head. "I made a halo," he pointed to the glowing ring, beaming proudly, "and it took, like what, two seconds. Three tops."

They--Helga, Claire, Vinny, and Milo--were waiting in the library, waiting for Dean's return. Kida had just left to go make sure Lucille was taking her bath, and not, as she was sometimes wont to do, splashing a bit of water on her face and then lying about it. By now, her parents had hoped that she had finally learned that she would never get away with it. Lucy was as mischevious as her mother, but her father's honesty made her a terrible liar. Genetics had played a cruel trick on her. The urge to play pranks was also accompanied by the urge to 'fess up.

Milo was jotting down notes, his pen moving at inhuman speeds across the parchment. "Halo..." he murmured thoughtfully, "feathery wings..." Finally stopping, he looked up. "Can you fly?"

Claire, who up until now had found Milo's curiosity adorable, had to interject. "Don't you think you should test that hypothesis somewhere with more space? Like outside maybe?"

But Vinny didn't heed her warning. With two flaps of his great, gray wings, he took off. BAM! "Ow, that really hurt." He'd hit the ceiling. Milo winced as he watched Santorini gingerly rub his sore head. Slowly, the angel sank to the floor.

"Now," said Claire, leaning forward, hands folded on her lap, "what did we learn today?"

Pitifully, Vinny guessed, "Listen to the Keeper?"

The brunette nodded. "Very good."

Despite her best efforts to hold it in, Helga laughed. "Glad somebody found it funny," muttered Vinny. "Even if they don't have a body...which means it's technically _someone_, right? I was never good with grammar."

Helga decided to spare him a fierce glare. He was just being honest, after all. There was no mean intent in his statement. Instead, she smiled. "Who knew angels could get goose eggs?"

Milo chuckled. "I'll get some ice for that, Vinny." Just as he was about to get up, the library doors creaked open. Before Kida could walk in, Lucille bounded into the room. Her hair was still slightly damp in some places and she was wearing a nightgown. She ran to her father's open arms.

Grinning, Kida said, "I told her you were busy. Nothing ever gets in the way of story time, does it?"

"Nope," Milo smiled back, picking up the little princess. He rubbed the end of his nose against hers. "Eight o' clock, sharp." Lucille threw her arms around his neck, giggling. Proudly, he stood up and marched to the door. Pausing, he turned to address the group, "I have kingly duties to tend to. Carry on." They could hear Lucille's giggles until she and her father reached her bedroom.

After the library door closed, Claire happened to glance at Milo's notes. He had stopped writing mid-sentence. She smiled inwardly. He was a daddy first and a scholar second.

* * *

Milo placed Lucille on her bed and tucked her in. "Comfy, skunky?" 

"Yep." Before he could sit down beside her, she cried out, "The helmet!"

"All right, all right." Chuckling, he got up and walked to a little cabinet on her dresser. In it was his grandfather's pith helmet. Whitmore had sent it along with the wardrobe. Milo had given it its special place in Lucille's room. He told himself it was because it was just a sentimental thing, but he knew in his heart it was because he thought of it as a way of his grandfather watching over Lucille.

"Don't forget Levi!"

"I never do." Along with the helmet, he took a Levithan plush doll off of the shelf. He handed the doll to her and put the helmet on her head. It slipped down past her ears and came to a stop just above her chin. "Well, it never really fit me either."

"What's the story tonight?" she asked, her question echoing in Pithy. It was her name for the head gear.

"Well," Milo lifted the pith helmet up and found a way to keep it up by sticking Lucille's ears out. "Where did I leave off at last night?"

She hugged Levi tightly and pondered. "The explorers had just set up camp." She snuggled deeper under the blankets.

"All right." Milo cleared his throat. "The linguist had stepped out for a bit..." He decided to leave out the part about having to use the bathroom. "That's when the fireflies swooped down..."

* * *

"You were out for a long time," Claire commented as Dean and Austin walked into the palace. She was sitting in the foyer, legs crossed on the sofa, drinking what she assumed was Atlantean tea. It had a strong, sweet flavor that rivaled all the sugar she usually put into her coffee. Kida had found rooms for Helga and Vinny to stay for the night. "Get everything?" 

"Yeah." He placed the baskets and bags on the couch. "And then some. I picked up these spices that'll make a fine addition to my omlettes."

Austin rolled his eye. "Pathetic," he mumbled around the flower stem.

"And who's that for?" asked Claire teasingly.

"...nobody."

Dean smirked. "As if, someone with no body."

Claire blinked her brown eyes in surprise, not quite sure how to take this. "O-kay. All righty. I'm thinking sleep would be great for all of us." She rubbed her temples. "I'll have Vinny set this stuff up tomorrow."

As she and Dean began walking to their room, the Keeper noticed Austin prancing away. "Where are you going?"

"To wish Helga good night."

She stared as he disappeared down a corridor, the flower bouncing in his mouth. "What has happened to my kitty?"

"He's grown up," Dean said, sarcastically dramatic. "Next thing you know, he's getting a place of his own, having kids--"

"He's neutered."

"I was joking." The brawny handyman looked at his girlfriend. "You actually seem worried." He laughed. "Don't worry about it. It's harmless."

"You're right." Yawning, she snuggled against him as he wrapped an arm around her, and they went to bed.

* * *

Austin scratched at Helga's door, feeling stupid. What was he even supposed to say? 

Helga poked her head through the door. The cat was gone, but there was a chewed-up flower on the floor. "Hmm. Could be worse. He could have left a dead rat."

* * *

A/N: The name "Pithy" came from a joke in the audio-commentary for the movie. If you haven't, please read and review my most recent story, "Destiny at the Haunted Mansion"if you get the chance. Thank you for the reviews! 


	13. All Hell Breaks Loose

Guys, I am so sorry this was on hiatus for such a long time. I won't go into why. But I'm really sorry I kept you waiting, especially all of you who always took the time to review. You people inspire me to keep writing. Hopefully, this lengthy chapter makes up a smidgen for how long it took to finally update this.

* * *

Diana could not sleep. Something was wrong. Or was going to be wrong. She tossed and turned, shoved her head under her pillow, kicked off all of her blankets, and then lay there shivering. When this did her no good, she gave out a muffled shout and kicked her legs like a fish washed ashore.

"ROWR!" THUD!

"Oh Sam!" Diana bolted up, reached to turn on her bedside lamp, stretched a bit too far, and tumbled out of bed. Landing hard on her knee, she cursed. As if the lamp felt guilty for her fall, it clicked on by itself. Pushing aside her pain for a moment, she crawled over to the yellow tabby. Stroking his back, she cooed, "Aw, I'm so sorry Sammy. I didn't mean to kick you off like that. Are you all right?"

Nuzzling her cheek with his nose, he replied, "I still have eight lives left." Leaning back, he blinked his big yellow eyes at her. "What's wrong? You looked like you were having a nightmare!"

The young blond pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear and yawned. "I think I'm being Summoned." Plopping Sam down on her bed, she went over to her dresser and started pulling out clothes, flinging them behind her.

"Where—Oof!" Sam tried shaking the pair of underwear off his head. "Where are you going?"

Diana shimmied on a pair of jeans. "The wardrobe."

"But where after the wardrobe?" he persisted. She grabbed the clothes she'd thrown onto the bed and began stuffing them into a book bag.

"Atlantis, I think. Wherever Claire is." A comb and stick of deodorant was added to the backpack. "I think she needs my help."

Tail twitching, Sam warned, "You know how much she hates you stepping in."

"Yeah, well, God knows how many times she's interrupted my cases!" The teen angrily zipped the bag shut.

_Two hundred, forty-five._

Both Diana and Sam stood very, very still and were very, very quiet.

"You really need to stop doing that," Sam whispered.

"Yeah, I know." Head tilted up to the ceiling, she shouted, "Sorry 'bout that!"

_Z'all right._

Sam leapt into her backpack just as she slung it on her shoulders. "Hey!" she craned her neck back to look at him. Sam stuck his face out of the bag and grinned at her. "Geeze, you're heavy! And who said you were coming along?"

"No one. But no one said I couldn't, either." Content with his kitty logic, he snuggled back down into the backpack. Diana sighed. There was no arguing with a cat that had his mind made up. After a quick check of the guest house locks; leaving a message on her parents' answering machine just in case; and zipping up her bag so that it would stay shut, but still leave plenty of room for Sam to look out, she went to the wardrobe.

* * *

After only a few hours of rest, Claire awoke. Wide-awake and alert, she decided that she should quit wasting time and do what she had been summoned there to do. She quickly got dressed. "I'm going to get Vinny," she told Dean.

The young man had been half asleep, but lifted his head at the sound of Claire's voice. He blinked his myopic blue eyes groggily as he sat up in bed. "So I take it you know exactly what you're doing?"

She stopped, her arms behind her as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail. "Just sending a demon back to Hell and closing up a rip in reality. Just another day at the office." She winked at him.

"Is there anything I can be after doing?" he asked, putting on his glasses and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

Claire really did hate to tell him no. It wasn't so much her ego, and she did not doubt his strength, be it the physical or "of character" kind. She just didn't want him to get hurt or get in the way. She had been a Keeper long before she had ever met him. "Keep an eye on the royal family and Austin." When she saw the look of disappointment on his face, she walked over to him and gave him a hug and a kiss. His strong arms embraced her tightly and she wished for a moment that she could just linger a little longer with him.

"You have my heart," he whispered in her ear.

She gave him another kiss. "Just keep me in your thoughts. Your strength gives me strength. No matter how far away I am, I know when you're thinking of me."

He thought it better not to ask if she was just saying that. Even if it was a gush fib, truly believing it seemed to make it real. "I love you Claire."

"I love you too, Dean." She pulled away, suddenly cold without his warmth. "Well," she forced a smile, "I'm off to fight demonic forces."

"That's my girl!"

Before leaving the room, she turned. "Be sure to have hot tea ready for me when I get back, babe."

"I always do."

The door shut. Dean stared down at his feet. Perhaps there was something he could cook. Or clean. He could always feed the cat.

* * *

"Vinny." Claire shook the angel's shoulder. "Vinny!" He opened his eyes half way, closed them again, and snorted. "Get up!" He continued snoring and rolled over on his stomach. A book of matches lay on the bedside table. She picked it up and took out a stick. Striking it on the inside cover's sandpaper, she carefully held it under one of his feathers.

He lifted his head and sniffed. "Somethin' smells like Italian chicken..." Slowly, his opened his eyes. "Oh, hi Claire." Suddenly, the flame must have hit a nerve for he sprang up and started slapping at the burning feather. "You know," he complained, wide awake, "you coulda poured a bucket of water on my head, or nudged me, or somethin'."

She shook her head. "We have to get going to the accident site. Get your supplies ready. We have to blast open the wall."

He nodded. "What about Helga?"

Claire helped him put the explosives in a bag. "It's too dangerous. As a spirit, she's vulnerable. If we're that close, then one little shout of 'Go to Hell,' even if you don't mean it, can give the pit an excuse to pull her in. It thrives on loopholes and mistakes. Having someone dead around it can lead to so many mistakes that can't be taken back."

"Sounds like you have some experience," he said thoughtfully.

"I almost lost a good…" She faltered. "… friend that way." Blushing ever so slightly, she pointedly ignored Vinny's chuckle. She cleared her throat. "Now let's get going before the whole palace wakes up."

* * *

"Good morning, kitty," Lucille cooed. She gently ran her small hand down Austin's back.

Opening his one eye, he groaned. "Oh, what is it with little kids and getting up super early?" She only giggled in return. "I mean, you don't even have Nick Jr. to watch…here…and…Oh that feels good." Purring, he flopped over on his back so she could scratch his tummy. "A little to the left." He had spent the night on the foot of her bed. Usually, he didn't care much for little children. They tended to have sticky fingers and hands that liked to pull. But Lucille was different. True, she liked to ask a million questions at a time, but she wasn't one of those sugar-crazy spastic kids that were constantly running around.

Scratching under his chin, she tilted her head to the side and asked, "What happened to your eye, kitty?"

His first response was "None of your business!" But he knew she meant no harm. There were worse questions she could ask. At least it wasn't something like, "What do you taste like when you lick yourself?"

"Some imps attacked me." He got a little "Oh," as response, but she still looked at him blankly. "They're these evil little things that were in my home."

"Oh," she said again. "What happened to them? Did you get them back?"

He cringed. This was the embarrassing part. "Mice saved me. They're these little furry creatures that like to eat cheese."

"Oh," she said, thoughtfully pondering all of this. In one swoop, she pulled him up into a hug. "I'm sorry you lost your eye, kitty." She nuzzled her cheek against his.

He glowered. It was too much affection! But he had to admit it was kind of nice. Purring, he nuzzled her back. "Thanks, kid."

After putting him down, she asked, "Would you like some breakfast?"

"You read my mind, Princess. Lead the way!"

Paws and little feet padding along the corridor silently, they crept to the kitchen. On their way, they bumped into Claire and Vinny.

"Hey," asked Vinny, gently ruffling her hair, "what are you doin' up so early?"

"I'm getting breakfast for me and Austin." Grunting pathetically, she tried springing up to reach the cabinets. Chuckling, Vinny got down two bowls for them. "Grazie!"

As the child pilfered through the Atlantean equivalent of a refrigerator, Austin sprang up onto the counter. Looking directly at Claire, he asked, "You're going out to close the hole, aren't you?"

"Why else would I be up this early?" She scratched behind his ears.

"To greet the dawning of a new day and take in the wonder that is this gorgeous sphere we call Earth."

"You need to stay out of the catnip. Yes, I'm going to seal up the leak."

"Just be careful. There's a not so nice person out there and I'm not sure exactly what he is." He bumped his head against her side. "Just be on the look out for a greasy little fat man in a mortarboard cap. He reeks of nasty."

"That'll be Professor Ta'Kashi," chirped Lucille. She put a bowl of purple mush and noodles in front of Austin. He tentatively sniffed at it, and then dug in. The little girl wrinkled her nose. "I really don't like him. He hates me."

"I'll keep him in mind," Claire mumbled thoughtfully. She knew to take any of Austin's warnings seriously. Suddenly remembering that the flying fish were the fastest way to travel, she asked Lucille, "Can I borrow your necklace?"

Only hesitating a moment, Lucy nodded. She took off the jewelry and handed it carefully to Claire. "Just be careful with it."

"I will," said Claire, completely sincere. "Vinny, let's ride!"

* * *

It wasn't long after when the Keeper and angel made it to the grotto. Both were taken aback setting down on land by the vibes seeping from the pit. It radiated out of the small hole, spreading over the ground, hissing like a gas leak.

HI KEEPER! LONG TIME NO SEE!

OH, YES! IT'S BEEN _AGES!_

AND YOU BROUGHT AN ANGEL. HOW QUAINT. WE DO LOVE ANGELS…

ON TOAST! Hell cackled. I SUPPOSE YOU'VE COME TO VANQUISH US. OH, DEAR. WOE IS US. The pit yawned. REALLY KEEPER, YOU'VE GOTTEN SO PREDTICABLE OVER THE YEARS.

I THINK WE SHOULD MIX THINGS UP A BIT!

ACTUALLY, WE DO HAVE A _LOVELY _SURPRISE FOR YOU! AND YOU TOO, VINCENZO. A MARVELOUS SURPRISE INDEED!

Vinny narrowed his eyes. "Let's blast 'em. I've only listened to it for two minutes and I can't stand it. I thought I talked a lot! I mean, this guy makes me look mute."

"I don't like this," Claire murmured, setting up the explosives. "But unless I can get to it, I can't close it."

AIN'T THAT A DILLY OF A PICKLE?

She dashed back several feet, Vinny following her while he left a trail of gunpowder.

* * *

Dean made breakfast for Milo and Kida in the kitchen. The knot in his stomach failed to go away with the work, though.

It was the equivalent of Saturday in Atlantis. Lucille sat at the table, her mother beside her as they drew pictures together. Milo mulled over his notes. After the time spent with Claire, he certainly had a lot to add.

Helga and Austin were the only two that seemed to outwardly share Dean's worry. The cat sat at the counter top and Helga floated above a stool alongside it.

"I really think I should be there," the ghost muttered.

Austin nuzzled her arm, which had no affect other than a sentimental one. "No offense, but you couldn't do much. Claire knows what she's doing."

Dean nodded, flipping an Atlantean omlet distractedly in a big frying pan. "But I have to admit, I'm worried too. With a demon to contend with, I think she could use some help."

"Don't let Claire know you said that," Austin joked. "Besides, she hates it when anyone meddles."

"Yeah, she's got a stick up her butt. But what are you gonna do?"

"She's just dedica…" Dean stopped. That wasn't Austin. Or Helga. Slowly he turned around. "Diana?!"

The younger Keeper grinned at him and stole a bit of the omelet. After blowing on it for a couple of second to cool it, she popped it in her mouth. "Mmm, what is this? Tastes like pecan cookies." She went to steal another bite, but Dean lightly smacked her hand. "Ow!"

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. By now Milo and Kida had gotten up to meet the teen.

Rubbing her hand and sulking, she pouted, "I was Summoned! Sam and I came in through the wardrobe." The tabby peeked out from behind her legs timidly. "Where's Claire?"

"Off sealing the portal," answered Dean. He furrowed his brow. "If you were Summoned…"

Austin's tail puffed out to twice its size. "Something bad must be going down!"

Dean glanced out the window. In a flying fish, a certain greasy professor went zooming towards the grotto. "And I have a feeling what it might be."

Milo followed Dean's gaze. "You don't think Ta'Kashi could have something to do with this, do you?"

Austin growled. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"Well, it seems I'm needed," Diana quipped brightly. She stole another bite of omelet before running out. "I'm off!"

Milo blinked. "Does she always pop up unexpectedly like that?"

"Yeah," Dean confirmed. He sighed. "I feel useless."

Samuel had stayed behind. "Well," he chirruped cheerfully, "you can feed the ca—"

He was interrupted as Diana trudged back in, defeated. "How do I get to the accident site?"

* * *

Claire and Vinny watched the spark as it raced along the line of powder. Anxiously, the counted down the seconds until…

KABOOM! Bits of rocks flew. Vinny ducked down, spreading his wings over both him and Claire. Coughing and waving away the smoke, the two peered into the newly made hole. Inside, the ring and symbols blazed red.

Suddenly, a large figure shot out of the cavern and into the air, it's bat-like wings taking it up in a few grand flaps. It soared up, shading the two from the light of the crystal before diving back down. The demon landed, knees bent on the dirt before standing impressively. Its form was muscled, but jagged, rays of light shining off of its crystallized body. Sharp, red lines, zig-zagging like veins, ran along the form. Fire blazed in the eye sockets where pupils, retinas, everything else should have been.

"Keeper," he spoke in his gravelly voice, "It's so nice to finally meet you." He held out his large hand to shake, a wide smirk on his face.

She just glared at him, not returning the gesture.

Vinny bristled. "Rourke!"

"Nice to see you again, too, Santorini," he replied coolly. "I see we both have changed a bit over the years." He chuckled. "You look like you belong on a Christmas card."

"Enough chit-chat," snarled Claire. She focused, raising her hands. "You're going back to—AHH!" She suddenly was flung back, landing near the pit.

"Ah-ah-ah!" Ta'Kasi chided, jumping out of the tuna shaped vehicle. "You already did your job, my dear. Now all that's left is for me to take my prize…"

She sprang back up, the force of the energy used to knock her back making her dizzy. He was a Keeper! But he was one of those rare few that felt the need to turn to the dark side. Oh, she was going to put a hurt on him!

THESE ARE OUR NEW BEST FRIENDS! WE'VE BEEN HAVING LOTS OF NICE, LONG TALKS, KEEPER. THEY'VE TOLD US SUCH INTERESTING THINGS, ESPECIALLY ABOUT THAT PRETTY CRYSTAL…

"No!" She pulled into the Possibilities, focused them on vanquishing the demon. He had to go first, then she could seal up the portal.

Ta'Kasi blocked it, sending the energy back at her. She dug her heels into the dirt, pushing against it with all her strength. "I've faced worse little shits than you, you greasy tub of lard!"

Vinny was in the sky, racing Rourke to the Heart of Atlantis. Jaw gritted in determination, the angel growled, "Oh, no, you ain't gonna get it this time, either!"

Rourke suddenly stopped and Vinny crashed into him. Balling up his crystalline fist, he punched the angel. Vinny tackled him and the two somersaulted in the air.

Claire could feel her strength draining. She kept pulling in the Possibilities, but it just didn't seem like she could get enough power.

WHAM!

Suddenly, the force pushing against her was gone. Looking up, she saw Ta'Kashi lying face down on the dirt. Hovering where he had been standing was a dolphin car, with a grinning Diana sitting in it.

"Hi sis!"

"Diana!" She couldn't believe it. She was happy to see her sister behind the wheel of a vehicle!

"Bad Keeper?" she asked, poking the old man with her foot.

"Yup."

"Let's take care of this sucker!"

But before they could make another move, there was a blinding explosion of light followed by hoarse laughter.

YOU'RE TOO LATE KEEPERS! HAHAHA!

Mouth still to the dirt, Ta'Kashi chuckled. "Not all of my power was spent on you, girl!"

FREE! FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK…WELL, NOT _HIM _… WE'LL BE FREE AT LAST!

"NO!" the sisters screamed at once.

But the intense light had not come from the pit. It had come from the crystal. The light had gathered into a thin beam, which shown down on the city. Searching like a spotlight, it focused on the palace, its quest for a host at an end.

* * *

Like all of the others in the city, the queen, king, Austin, Dean, Sam, and Helga had run out to see what had happened to the crystal. They stood on the porch, following the light with their eyes. Milo had expected it to stop on Kida. But instead it swept past her.

Eyes wide, they ran, keeping close behind it. If it didn't choose Kida, then that could only mean one thing.

"NO!" Milo screamed. His heart pounded and tears welled in his eyes as his daughter was suddenly pulled into the air.

"YOU CAN'T!" Kida shrieked. She jumped, trying to grab Lucille's feet. "NO!" she sobbed. "She's just a little girl!" Now out of their reach, she soared into the sky, her once blue and brown eyes filled with a white light. "My baby! You can't take my baby!" Her voice was now hoarse. "You can't! You can't!"

Body wracking with sobs she collapsed. Milo knelt beside her and put his arms around her, his tears mingling with hers. "She's strong, just like you," he whispered. "She'll make it."

Peering into the sky, Helga made out the image of the demon. "Rourke," she spat. "I'll see to it you go back to Hell for this!"


	14. The Demon's Flight

Lucille tried to wiggle out of the light's grasp, but she couldn't so much as get her pinkie to twitch. Her body burned as if she was running a high fever. All she wanted to do was curl up in her father's arms and cry. The only things under her control were her thoughts, and they were a whirlwind of panic.

_Mahthim! Tabtoap! Help me, please! Help! I'm scared! I'm scared! I want daddy! Tabtoap help! Mahthim! Mahthim! Don't let them take me! I don't wanna go! Don't make me! TABTOAP!_

Sky blue and blazing white filled her vision until it was all she could see. Hushed Atlantean whispers hissed in her ears with voices upon voices piled on top of and through one another, making it impossible to discern what was actually said. The tones ranged from curious, to tender, to confused, and some were angry. The young princess tried to relax and in doing so, could make out some of the speech.

"_The youngest we've ever had…"_

"_Too young!"_

"_Where is her crystal?"_

"_Outrageous!"_

"…_terrified out of her wits…"_

"_This sort of thing didn't happen when I was king! I told you the outsider was trouble!"_

"_Why not her mother again?"_

"_Something's wrong! Something's horribly, horribly wrong!"_

Then nothing.

It was suddenly silent and Lucille felt very alone. If she had any control over her body it would have been shivering. The utter quiet was freezing. _I'm in a cave,_ she thought, _a big, cold, scary cave all by myself. My tummy hurts. I feel sick. I want to go home. I want to go home!_

* * *

Around the Crystal, the rock effigies of the rulers of the past spun faster and faster, becoming blue-lined gray blurs. In his tumbling with Vinny, Rourke flew right into the stones' orbit. There was a blinding flash of red light and then searing pain as the demon screamed. Nearly an entire jagged crystal wing had been shattered, leaving him flapping lopsided. Pieces, dark blue with dull red veins, fell into the lava river below. Both angel and demon watched as the crystal bits sizzled and left nothing behind but steam.

Vinny smiled lazily and slowly chewed on a matchstick. He looked up and with no hesitation punched Rourke on the jaw and sent him back into the ring. As Rourke desperately tried to pull himself away from the pummeling rocks, Vinny shook out his sore fist.

"Okay, now things are getting' good." Bits of crystal sailed past his ears. He ignored Rourke's screams. "Y'know," he drawled, "I coulda told ya that gettin' in league with the Devil was a bad idea. I mean, I grew up Catholic, went to church every Sunday, had Communion. I liked the wine. The wine was good. Didn't go to confession that much, though, not after that one priest told the cops I'd set the neighbor's shed on fire. Wasn't my fault, though. I had no idea when I tossed the little cherry bomb through the window that they'd been keeping some fireworks in there. Musta been for the church picnic comin' up. Oh well. They should have given me back my football from the get-go or I wouldn't-a tossed in the cherry bomb in the first place. Not like I made it go into their yard…"

Over the sound of his grunts and body being smacked to and fro, Rourke couldn't hear Vinny. He couldn't even tell which direction he was facing after being knocked around so much. His crystalline body was numb, but he was vaguely aware that nearly half of his other wing was missing, he'd lost a few fingers, and a chunk of one shoulder was gone, as well as large bits from his torso and legs. With one last bludgeon, he was hurled back out of the ring and into calm space.

Vinny's mouth went slack and his matchstick slipped out. His wits came back to him, and he shouted, "NO!"

The high frequency howl of the whirling effigies had ceased, and Rourke realized he was behind them, next to a now child shaped crystal. He flapped his half a wing rapidly to get him in a crooked hover, puzzling over this new predicament. Could he simply just—

GRAB IT, YOU FOOL! Hell screamed.

OOOH, GOOD DIALOGUE!

THANK YOU.

VERY COMIC BOOK BADDIE OR BOND VILLAIN-ESQUE. YOU FORGOT TO SHAKE A FIST, THOUGH. YOU CAN'T SAY THAT SORT OF THING WITHOUT SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED FIST SHAKING.

WELL PARDON _MOI_! NEXT TIME I'LL ASK FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS BEFORE GIVING IMPROPTU INSTRUCTIONS TO OUR DEMON MINIONS!

JUST SAYIN'… OH DEAR. THE KEEPERS ARE BEING ANNOYING AGAIN.

Claire and Diana stood outside of the pit, arms extended, fingers out, the Possibilities flowing out and into the hole. Claire didn't want to admit it, but ever since Lucille had been taken up into the Heart, she'd been extremely dizzy. The crystal necklace she wore pulsed and flashed, as if it were sending out a distress signal. She knew she was weaving as she walked, but she chose not to focus on it, and instead on just sealing up the leak.

WE'RE MORE THAN A 'LEAK' NOW, YOU KNOW. TA'KASHI NEARLY HAD US FREED. YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO. YOU SEEM A LITTLE WINDED, KEEPER. NEED A BREAK?

Claire gritted her teeth and put more force into her concentration. "Shut the Hell up!"

Hell cackled, spitting up bits of brimstone. 'SHUT THE HELL UP,' OH THAT'S FUNNY! YOUR WIT'S A BIT LACKLUSTER, SWEETIE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD LIE DOWN. WE'VE GOT A LOVELY BED OF SPIKES DOWN HERE.

"Her wit's weak?" spat Diana. "You're about as funny as an opening guest monologue on Saturday Night Live!"

Hell was silent for a moment. WHAT IF IT'S TOM HANKS?

Diana growled, "Especially if it's Tom Hanks!"

GASP! There was a faint, broken-breath whimpering as Hell sulked. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE SO MEAN.

BY THE WAY, Hell brightened a bit, DID YOU KNOW THAT WITH YOUR ARMS OUT AND YOUR FINGERS WAGGLING LIKE THAT, YOU TWO LOOK LIKE MICKEY MOUSE IN _FANTASIA_?

AND DID YOU ALSO KNOW…

Claire never heard the shuffling behind her, or smelled the rancid breath on her neck; she only felt a sharp sting as a large rock came down on top of her head. She crumpled into a heap on the dusty ground, and Diana ducked aside just in time to avoid a swing from Ta'Kashi.

…THAT WE'RE BEING DISTRACTING?

Diana had to take her focus off of the glowing, hissing pit, but wasted no power on the evil Keeper. Instead she reacted as any teenage girl would--she spun, one leg out, and kicked him square in the crotch. A low whine escaped from between his clenched lips and, knees bent together, he fell like a squat, fat, four feet tall tree, landing on his side and curling into a fetal position. Just for good measure Diana gave him an extra punt in the ribs.

"What is you _damage_, man?" she shrieked. "Do you have any idea how _stupid _you're being?!"

ARE YOU GOING TO LAUNCH INTO THE LECTURE ABOUT HOW WE'RE JUST USING HIM FOR OUR PLOT FOR UNIVERSAL DOMINATION AND THAT WE WOULD HAVE DISPOSED OF HIM OURSELVES WHEN WE HAD NO FURTHER USE FOR HIM?

Diana blinked. "No, you seem to have covered that pretty well." She left Ta'Kashi crying and rushed to her sister's side. Fretting or breaking into hysterics would do no good. The young Keeper flung her backpack off and simply yanked it apart at one end, nearly destroying the zipper. Her mother had always told her to have a first aid kit on hand for just this sort of occasion. Had she packed one? A shuffling of shirts and underwear revealed that no, she hadn't. "Da—"

EEEEEEE!

"—ng it."

POOPIE.

Claire was unconscious and a thin stream of blood trickled down her forehead. Diana wasted no time. She pulled a long-sleeved shirt out of her bag. She gave it a good look and then put it back. She liked that one. Then she took out another one, ripped off a sleeve, and used it to bandage the wound. After that she carefully, very carefully, dragged Claire away from the pit and sat her up against an arguably uncomfortable wall of rock.

She didn't want to leave her alone, but she still had a gaping hole to Hell to close and a bad Keeper to deal with. She wished Dean was there. He would know how to properly take care of the gash and he would keep her safe.

Diana's attention was pulled from her thoughts to the crystal resting on Claire's chest. The bright aqua blue darkened and dulled. Then it started to fill with a flowing crimson light that broke into little streams that curled and lashed out like vipers. Soon the crystal was blood red, pulsating with a dull throb.

The elder sibling's eyes shot open. No pupils, irises, or whites remained. Only glowing red light filled them. A hand shot out and latched onto Diana's wrist, clasping it with physical force far beyond Claire's strength.

"Shit!" Diana tried to wrench herself free, but with all of her tugging, couldn't squirm out of her sister's grasp.

Claire opened her mouth, but the sound that emerged was completely alien to Diana. The dozens of voices of past kings and queens buzzed past Claire's lips, melding together until it was one coherent, androgynous voice speaking stilted English.

"Protect the Heart! Do not let it fall to the evil. Save the Heart! Save Atlantis!"

Then Claire's eyes shut and she fell back. Her hold went slack and her hand dropped. The crystal still gave off its red glow.

Diana was suddenly aware that the same shade now darkened the earth and gave the underground world a blanket of crimson. She turned and looked up into the sky to see the jagged demon plummeting down with the big, red crystal held in his burly arms. Vinny was in pursuit, arms straight in front and wings pressed against him, looking like some divine diving hawk.

With only part of one wing, though, he was spiraling out of control, spinning like a torpedo towards the lava river. Rourke flapped frantically, never slowing his descent enough for Vinny to nab him. He wasn't about to let the angel to catch him.

IDIOT! Hell screamed.

Closer now… He was mere feet away from the bubbling, red river.

Diana tried to draw into the Possibilities, working as fast as she could to gain enough power to stop him. "Not enough time!" she groaned.

Rourke's face contorted in horror, realizing his doom.

OH IT'S ALL OVER! Hell sobbed. NO MORE CRYSTAL!

BUT THAT MEANS NO MORE ATLANTIS.

YEAH, I SUPPOSE SOMETHING GOOD COMES OUT OF IT. STILL… BUMMER FOR US.

"AHHHHHRRGHHH!" Rourke shut his eyes tightly, preparing for a sizzling lava bath. When he noticed he wasn't melting, he opened his eyes, wondering if his demonic powers had kept him safe. He was floating above the moat, his chin hardly an inch from its surface. A strong hand gripped his ankle firmly.

"He's…too…heavy!" a voice above him groaned.

The demon jerked his head back to see a young, glasses wearing, muscular man. Sweat dripped down his brow, but he didn't dare let one hand go to wipe it away. He was sitting in a flying stone fish. Next to him was Helga. Now caught up, Vinny lent a helping hand in holding Rourke.

Curling her lip in disdain, the ghost snarled down at Rourke, "Can't we just get the Crystal and let him drop?"

Dean grunted. "If I could…"

OOH, IS MR. GOODY-GOODY ENTERTAINING SOME DEVIOUS THOUGHTS?

"I still wouldn't do it. Claire knows how to take care of these guys."

BOO.

Helga rolled her eyes. "You're no fun, Mr. McIssac. You're worse than Thatch."

At that moment, Kida and Milo swooped down and hovered next to them in a stingray ship. The royal couple leaned out and helped Dean and Vinny haul Rourke and the crystal princess into their vehicle. Kida went to hug her daughter, but stopped.

"Milo," tears filled her eyes, "something's wrong! He shouldn't have been able to grab her!"

The king grimaced and embraced his queen. "Don't worry, Kida. Everything will turn out okay. We'll get her back." He shot a narrow-eyed glare at Rourke. "Vinny, don't let him get away. I'm sure Claire knows how to destroy him."

Both vehicles touched down on the soil near the accident site, and Milo, Kida, and Dean jumped out. The crystal princess floated nearby, staring blankly into space. Helga's flare gun, which was being carried by Kida, was accidently left behind in the seat, so the spirit stayed with it. She wanted to keep an extra close eye on Rourke, anyway. Vinny stayed behind and kept Rourke's arms pinned down to his sides. The battered and broken demon struggled weakly, but the angel kept him at bay.

Catching sight of his girlfriend, Dean rushed to Claire's side. "What happened to her?" he demanded, inspecting her gash. He gently stroked his hand through her dark hair and lightly kissed her cheek.

Diana had been occupying herself by using some old rope she found near the crashed gyro-evac to tie up Ta'Kashi. "Grease ball here knocked her out. But then that necklace turned red and she went all Linda Blaire on me and told me to keep the Heart safe, whatever that is." She shoved a pair of socks into the teacher's mouth and dusted off her hands. Then she walked over to the group. "Still need to close up that hole, though. "

Milo looked at the crystal around Claire's neck. "This must be Lucille's," he murmured. "I don't remember giving Claire one." He turned to Kida. "Do you?"

She shook her head. "That must be why the Heart's defenses aren't working. Lucille needs her crystal." She reached out to grab it, but the red shard zapped her. "_Skree-ishka!"_ Shaking her stinging hand, she cursed in Atlantean under her breath. Then Kida lifted her own necklace and waved it over Claire's wound. The gash healed and all that was left behind was some dried blood. "Milo, do you have any ideas?"

"I wish I did." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just want to get our little girl back! I'd do anything."

I CAN CUT YOU A DEAL…

Diana rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to it." With a smile she patted Milo's shoulder. "We'll fix this. I promise."

Rourke suddenly screamed, "The Crystal!"

The Heart of Atlantis pulsated and started to spin, glowing brighter and brighter. Claire once again opened her eyes, the red orbs shining with a supernatural glow. She stood, and as she got to her feet, the crystal she wore floated up. She slowly stepped forward towards the hovering crystal princess.

Everyone's eyes were on her except for Helga's. The ghost was watching Rourke. She knew he was up to something…

Quicker than her thoughts could register, Rourke's hand slipped back and took hold of his flare gun.

"Vinny!" she shouted.

But by the time it had left her lips, the demon had spun and slipped out of the distracted angel's grasp, given him a kick, and fired off the flare gun. Vinny ducked in time and a smoking cylinder went whistling over his head.

Rourke launched himself up and snatched up the Heart in his mangled arms. Vinny flapped his wings, overestimating the demon's distance. He shot up above him, corrected himself, and then headed back down. Rourke hit the ground, rolled, and leapt right into the pit.

It had happened in the blink of an eye. Milo and Kida crashed into the dirt at the edge of the hole, arms reaching out, screaming their daughter's name. Vinny tried to follow after, but was spat back out.

SORRY. NO ANGELS ALLOWED! Hell guffawed. IT SEEMS WE NOW HAVE THE POWERFUL HEART OF ATLANTIS IN OUR GRASP, KEEPERS! HA HA HA! MWAH HA HA! BWAH HA HA HA HA! Hell's laughter filled the cave, spilled out like toxic waste, and oozed into the city. I WIN! EPIC FAIL, KEEPERS!

Diana pulled Milo and Kida to their feet. "All Hell's gonna break loose unless we act fast!"


	15. Hell Bound

Rourke tumbled down further into the pits of Hell, past screams of agony and the stench of brimstone. When he hit a floor that he sworn had not been there a second earlier, the girl shaped Heart was still wrapped in his jagged arms. A laugh punched through his lips and overpowered even the shrieks of desperation surrounding him.

"I did it!" His squared jaw shook and his barrel chest heaved with his borderline insane chuckles. "Years, decades of plotting and finally…" He exhaled sharply and grinned. "It's all mine."

MINE, YOU MEAN, Hell was all too quick to remind the treasure hunter. Demons the size of ferrets detached themselves from the crimson, stalagmite covered floors around Rourke. Chattering and hissing in their high pitched language amongst themselves, they swarmed the red crystal and took it from his flailing grasp.

NOT THAT WE DON'T APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR HARD WORK, YOU KNOW.

OH YES. GOOD JOB! YOU GET A GOLD STAR!

A snickering demon stuck a gold star sticker on Rourke's forehead. Another shoved a cigar into his mouth and a third threw handfuls of confetti while singing a raspy rendition of "He's a Jolly Good Fellow."

Rourke spat out the cigar and smacked away the minions. "After all of my hard work, you owe me!"

The sound of a tongue clicking echoed around Rourke. IF ANYTHING, MY LACKEY, YOU OWE ME. WE GAVE YOU SOLID FORM, WE SENT YOU BACK TO YOUR WORLD, AND LET'S NOT FORGET, YOU GE TO WATCH THE WORLD CRUMBLE.

SO SIT DOWN…

The little winged devils shoved Rourke down.

SHUT UP…

AND WATCH THE FIREWORKS, SONNY BOY! YEEEE-HAAWWW!

The crystal princess was let go and simply hovered in place. The pulsating hum and glow neither grew nor diminished. There were no brilliant explosions of light, trumpets blaring, waves of intense energy, or the usual end of the world clichés.

Hell was silent for a while.

WHERE'S THE KABOOM? THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN EARTH SHATTERING KABOOM.

WHAT… WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THIS THING?

DUNNO. THINK IT NEEDS NEW BATTERIES?

IT'S A LIVING CRYSTAL, YOU NITWIT. IT DOESN'T NEED BATTERIES!

MAYBE YOU HAVE TO PLUG IT IN…

* * *

Above the pit, Diana, Milo, Kida, Dean, and Helga were trying to plan. Without her older sister's help, however, the teenaged Keeper felt panicked. Sealing the hole was no longer an option right now, not with the princess and the Heart of Atlantis trapped. Asking for Ta'Kashi's help was simply out of the question. A couple of years ago, she had learned not to give bad Keepers even an inch of space to work with. Shooting the tied-up old man a glare, she tried to bury the growing concern for her sister and focus on the task at hand.

Claire was still on her feet, but otherwise catatonic. After Lucille had been dragged down, the Keeper's stride had stopped, as if she were confused. Now, however, she was starting to stride forward again with a purpose. The crystal around her neck rose and then pointed downward, showing her where she needed to go. Her lips parted and the various voices issued forth again, speaking in Atlantean.

Dean tried picking her up. She squirmed in his grasp and finally kicked her way out of his arms with the crystal shard giving him a shock for good measure. "What did she say?"

Kida translated. "We must unite with our princess and our Heart."

"Then she's going to—Claire! No!" He lunged for her, landing millimeters behind her feet. As he belly flopped into the dirt, she jumped up, arms above her head and palms pressed together, and dove down headfirst into the open portal. He screamed her name and pushed himself up. Before he could leap in after her, Diana grabbed his arm.

"You've gone that route before, remember?" She looked down into the pit. "All willing sacrifices get spat out."

"Wasn't Claire—"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. You saw her, she wasn't in control."

The glow on the symbols drawn into the ground around the hole glinted off of Milo's large lenses. "But now Hell's got the Heart, Lucille's crystal, and—and my little girl." He set his jaw in a determined grimace. "What if I jump in real quick with a ship and—"

"Not enough time," Diana shook her head. "C'mon, think… _Think!_" She rubbed her temples and paced back and forth. "What would Claire do?"

"Y'know…" Vinny nibbled on the end of a matchstick. "I remember bein' told once that near these Hell holes, spirits are real susceptible to bein' pulled in. All it takes is getting' angry and sayin' somethin,' even if you don't mean it. Gets 'em drained down, like flushin' a toilet." He mimed jerking a handle. "'Course, I don't know who'd we be able to get to do it, what with the shortage of spirits around here." He smiled and raised an eyebrow in Helga's direction.

The ghost stared at him, perplexed for a moment, and then smirked. "Is that so? Well, Mr. Thatch," she winked at the king, "it seems there's something you've should have told me a long, long time ago."

Milo looked at the gaping hole of evil, at Helga, and then to his wife. He intertwined Kida's fingers with his and took a deep breath. "Helga Sinclair… Go to Hell!"

The ex-merc gave him a salute before forces from the depths of damnation pulled her away.

Kida called out after her, "Save the crystal. Save Atlantis. Save my daughter!"

Rourke dodged out of the way, barely missing being the landing pad of the falling Keeper. "What in blue blazes?"

Hell, throwing a tantrum, almost didn't notice Claire's arrival. STUPID CRYSTAL! STUPID PLATO! STUPID—

HEY. HEY, LOOKIT.

OH. WOW, THIS IS A NICE SURPRISE.

YEAH. IF WE HAD KNOWN YOU WERE COMING, WE'D HAVE MADE A CASSEROLE.

Claire raised an arm and pointed at the crystal. "I come for the Heart of Atlantis."

SPOOKY VOICE. NOT AS SCARY AS OURS, THOUGH.

HEY…WAIT. WHAT IS SHE DOING?

Claire hovered above the steaming, rocky floor. Lucille's crystal changed from red to blue and a beam of light pulled it from Claire's neck and into the Heart. When it became its normal color once more, it let go of its hold on Claire and she fell to the ground.

"Ow." She rubbed her head. "What…" It took her a second to realize where she was. "Oh… sneezes!"

AND NOW WE HAVE THE COMPLETE HEART OF ATLANTIS. ROURKE, TAKE CARE OF THIS PEST, PLEASE. AND DON'T BE GENTLE. WE WANT TO HEAR HER SCREAM.

"Finally, some fun again." He pulled back his fist and launched it.

Claire dropped to the ground and his crystalline hand went sailing overhead. She rolled under the hovering Heart of Atlantis, feeling somehow better under the cerulean shadow. It was comforting and healing, which made her all the more aware of how much it was needed in the city. And poor Lucille was still trapped within.

"I'm not going to fail you, sweetie."

She pulled into the Possibilities and then hurled them at Rourke. He barely staggered.

YOU THINK YOU HAVE POWER HERE, KEEPER? THIS IS MY DOMAIN!

DOMAIN, THAT'S GOOD. VERY VILLAINOUS.

"Tired, Ms. Hansen?" Rourke picked her up by her throat. "'Cause I'm just getting warmed up!"

"Beating up on women again, Rourke?"

The voice made him turn. Helga held a fighting stance. Right hand up, she flicked her fingers towards her. "Just like the good old days."

Nostalgia overtook purpose and he dropped the Keeper. Claire gasped and rubbed her neck, knowing bruises were already forming. Now how to get the crystal out…

Helga spun and kicked, but her transparent foot only went through Rourke's face. Her eyes widened as he grinned.

"Damn."

EXACTLY!

Hell's mini demons started to swarm the spirit. Their claws, capable of ribbing through souls, dug under her ectoplasmic skin. She screamed and writhed as Rourke watched and laughed.

NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY WITH OUR NEW TOY.

Claire didn't know whose bright idea it had been to send in the ghost, but she knew she had to give her a fighting chance. Plus, with Helga working as a distraction, things could go a lot smoother. She looked up at the heart. "Help me out here." She cracked her knuckles, took a deep breath, and pulled into the Possibilities and sent them towards Helga. A blast of energy from the Heart joined the power. It spread into the far reaches of Hell, filling the volcanic-like cavern with a bright blue hue. The walls began to crumble and demons shrieked and flew for cover.

OW! STOPPIT!

Helga tried another kick, and this time it made contact. She sent the demon staggering back. Shocked, she stared at her foot to discover it was solid. "My body!" With renewed strength, the now solid Sinclair went to work. It all came back to her—the punches, the jabs, the kicks, the flips—every move she had learned and almost forgotten in her decades of solitude and death. However, with a body, she was susceptible to pain and injury. This face was pounded into her as he knocked her to the floor. With a flip and a kick, she was back up.

She had missed the pain. She had even missed the taste of blood on her cracked lip and the sting in her knuckles. "I don't know about you, Commander, but I'm…." Punch. "…in…" Punch. "…Heaven!"

Focused on destroying Hell, Claire could only hear bits of the fight. It was a shame Helga's new mortality would only be temporary, but it would last long enough. "I think we've done enough," Claire grunted. "We've got to get you back up to the surface and close this hole before we're trapped." Stalactites fell from the metaphysical ceiling. The wails of the damned were drowned out by the booming rumbling of the nether realm.

Helga was panting by now. A blond strand of hair dangled over her eyes and she blew it away. Although a first glance would yield little damage, a closer inspection showed zig-zags of cracks and a piece missing from his neck. Focused on this new weak point, she took a misstep and tripped. She landed on her back, knocking the wind out of her.

"Look at this," Rourke grinned. "Brings back memories, don't it? You know," he lifted a foot, "maybe I'll just smash your face in. Then I'll ask Hell to make you my slave. How about that?"

"Were you always so romantic?" Her eyes darted from side to side, searching for anything she could use. A stalactite broke free from an overhang above her and landed near her fingertips.

"Or you and me… we could ignite some old sparks." He dropped down almost on top of her and braced himself up on his palms. The brimstone stench of his breath made her lip curl.

"Sorry, Commander." She stretched her fingers until they touched the edge of the rock spike. She dragged it close enough to grab. "I swore off evil." She picked up the stalactite. "Nothing personal." With all her strength, she rammed in into the neck wound and ground it in.

The demon shrieked and clawed at the spike. Helga rolled and sprang up, then spun with a fierce kick. The stalactite was forced further through is neck, creating more cracks and broken pieces. All it took was another kick and he was decapitated. His broken body staggered for a few seconds before exploding into thousands of tiny shards. Then his head followed suit.

Helga shielded her face in time and ran over to Claire. "Let's get out of here," she told the Keeper.

"My thoughts exactly." Claire held Helga's hand and called forth the Possibilities once more with the aid of the Heart of Atlantis. The crystal hummed, echoing with the chanting voices of Atlantean royalty. The women thought they could hear the little princess. All of the projected beams gathered back into the crystal and then shot downward and encased Helga and Claire. Then the three of them rose towards the portal opening.

NO! Hell bellowed as it continued to crumble. I WAS SO CLOSE!

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ALWAYS SAY: IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED...

Hell nudged some of the scattered chunks of Rourke. I WILL GET MY POUND OF FLESH. YOU CAN BE SURE OF THAT.

* * *

As soon as Helga and Claire's hands emerged from the hole, Dean and Vinny were there to help them out. Once they were safely back in Atlantis, the Heart hovered over to Kida. It took the shape of her daughter.

"Oh my baby," the queen mumbled into her hands. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She wanted to cradle and hold her, to tell her that matihtim would love her forever. "Please let me have her back."

Milo stood at his wife's side and put a hand on her shoulder. "You put my little girl through Hell. Literally. Give her back."

Voices, too blended to understand, emanated from the crystal. And then, as if they had come to an agreement, Lucille's hand stretched out from it. Her arm emerged, and then her other hand and her round face.

"Matihim! Daddy!"

Her parents grabbed her and pulled her out and into their arms, holding her tighter than they ever had before. Together they cried and laughed and kissed and hugged. Above them the Heart of Atlantis took its rightful place over the city.

Diana grinned at Claire. "You look like five miles of bad road, sister."

"Yeah, and that road was the highway to hell. You ready to do this?"

"I was born ready. Booyah!" She bumped her fist against Claire's.

The sisters focused their energy and pulled into the Possibilities. Just as the hole was almost sealed, a giant hand made of flames burst from Hell and reached towards the siblings.

I AM NOT LEAVING EMPTY HANDED!

Prepared for another fight, the Hansen sisters were shocked as it pushed past them and grabbed onto the tied-up teacher still lying in the dirt. Ta'Kashi's muffled screams were as useless as his bound arms as he tried to wiggle away. The plump professor was dragged through the dirt, leaving a trail behind him. Then with a final tug, he was pulled into the hole.

Dean gave the women a wide eyed stare. "Are you going to be after savin' him?"

The Keepers pretended not to hear him as they finished sealing the portal.

* * *

After a much needed bath, dinner at the royal table, and packing, Claire was all too ready to head home. Austin followed her from the guest room to the storage chamber, where the others were waiting around the wardrobe. As predicted, Helga's mortal shell had dissipated and she was once again a ghost.

"No hard feelings?" Claire couldn't think of anything better to say to the spirit.

Helga waved the concern away. "It was nice while it lasted, but life's only temporary. I was lucky to get a second chance, even if it was only for an hour." She grinned. "I tore off my old boss's head, I can't complain."

Austin brushed against her transparent leg. "Ah, the American dream."

She reached down and tried to scratch behind his ear. It was impossible for her to do so without a body, but he still purred in appreciation.

Claire cleared her throat. "Now comes the hard part. Helga, you need to cross over. I think it's safe to say you've accomplished any unfinished business you could possibly have."

"But," Helga's voice cracked, "if I do that, I'll just wind up back… _there _with _him_."

Vinny rubbed his cheek. "I don't think so. Not that I'm the authority on the matter, but I'd think sacrificing yourself and divin' into Hell… that should get you a free pass to Heaven. I mean, what does God expect from you now, to haul a hundred children out of a burnin' orphanage. If he does, I got some dynamite on hand—"

Claire held up a hand. "That won't be necessary." She smiled at the spirit. "Trust me, you'll be fine. If anyone deserves paradise, it's you."

Helga grimaced. "Fine, but I'm holding you to that, Keeper. If it doesn't work out, I'm coming back to haunt you."

"I'll keep that in mind." Claire closed her eyes and muttered an incantation that no one could hear. The Possibilities opened, giving Helga a gateway to the beyond.

For purely symbolic reasons, Helga inhaled and exhaled sharply. "I suppose this is goodbye. I'll miss you guys."

"We'll miss you, too, Helga." Milo had tears in his eyes. "Thank you for what you did back there. You—you have no idea how much that meant."

"I think I might." She bent down to be eye level with Lucille. "You be good. Study so you can be as smart as your father, and train so you'll be as fierce as your mother. I know you'll be an amazing queen."

Lucille blushed and tucked against her mother's side. "Thank you, Ms. Sinclair."

Kida smiled at her daughter and Helga. "For years to come, I will make sure all of Atlantis knows the tremendous sacrifice you made to save us all. You will be honored among our bravest warriors."

"I'm sure Mr. Thatch will write all about it." She turned to Claire. "Okay Keeper, I think I'm ready."

Vinny stood beside her. "You've got nothin' to worry about. I'll be right with you the whole time, like a guardian angel." He paused. "I mean, I got the wings an' halo an' everything. Not the harp, though. I shoulda got a harp."

"Okay, Santorini, let's hurry before the Apocalypse."

Together, the ghost and the angel started their new journey. The "good byes" and "thank yous" faded behind them and Paradise grew into reality before them…

Diana shifted her backpack onto her shoulder. Sam poked his striped face out from between the zippers. Crumbs from Atlantean goodies hung from his whiskers. "Well," the younger Keeper said, "I think our work here is officially done."

"You heard my sister." Claire gave each member of the royal family a hug. "Sorry about the whole bad experience."

"No apologies necessary." Kida put a hand on her shoulder. "You, too, shall go down in history as a mighty warrior for saving us from a terrible fate. You and your friends. For your service, we would like to give you a gift."

Before Claire could protest, Kida reached into a pocket and pulled out three crystal necklaces and one crystal-adorned cat collar.

"It's the least we could do you for," said Milo. "We only wish it could be more."

Dean bowed so Kida could put his on him. "Considerin' all of the scuffles we get into, these are priceless just for healing," he chuckled.

"Come on people." Austin flicked up his tail. "There's a catnip mouse waiting for me in my kitty bed. And when we get back, you can—"

Dean shouldered his and Claire's bags. "I know, I know. Feed the cat."

"Goodbye, everyone," Claire called before stepping in the wardrobe after Dean and Austin. "Thank you."

Diana gave an exaggerated bow before the royal family. "It's been a real slice, home fries. But we gotta be buggin' on out. Peace!" She waved and was gone as well.

Milo slowly closed the wardrobe door. "I wonder if we'll ever see them again."

"Would it be good or bad if we did?" Kida picked up Lucille and nuzzled her nose against hers.

"Good point." The family left the storage room. It would be strange to prepare for night as if it were the end of any ordinary day.

"Milo…"

"Yes, my heart?"

"What are home fries?"

* * *

After getting back to the guest house, Claire got well-deserved rest, Diana was reunited with her beloved Kris, and Dean fixed the sink that Vinny had nearly exploded. Oh, and someone fed the cats. However, it wouldn't be long before another Summoning, another tear in the fabric of the universe, and some baddie butt to kick, as Diana like to put it. For now, though, the Elysian Fields Guest House was a place of peace and relaxation, unlike a certain other domain…

"But I've written 'I am an idiotic moron who cannot complete the simplest task' one hundred thousand times already!" Ta'Kashi shook out his sore wrist.

A mini demon flipped his giant chalkboard, revealing a new, clean side. It stretched for miles on either side and towered countless stories above the teacher.

FILL UP THAT BOARD, MISTER.

Ta'Kashi sobbed and lifted up his chalk. Around him demons laughed and hit him with rotten apples and rulers.

Hell let out an exhausted sigh and watched imps and demons doing repair work.

DON'T WORRY BOYS, WELL BE BACK IN BUSINESS IN NO TIME. ONE DAY THE WORLD WILL FIND OUT HELL _IS_ A PLACE ON EARTH. HA HA HA… HA HA HA! HA HA-HAAAAA!

And so in Hell, Atlantis, and everywhere above, life went on.

* * *

A/N: After years of plotting and typing and re-working, it's finally finished. Thank you all who have taken the time to read this and leave your comments. You guys keep me inspired and make me want to better my writing. I know this took a long time, so I can't thank you enough for your patience and your kind words. Thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Despite some road blocks here and there, this was fun to write. It kept me on my toes because I was having to go back to the novels or the film to double check quotes and "rules" to make sure I had my facts straight. As interesting as it was to write, it was also a challenge. I didn't know juggling this big cast of characters would be so tricky. I also didn't foresee how difficult it would be writing some of these characters. Kida, for instance, was very tough for me at times, even though she's one of my favorite Disney leading ladies. The hardest character was Claire because I didn't quite know how to "do" her personality. Hell, Austin, and Milo were the easiest, which probably doesn't come as a shock to many of you if you're familiar with my other stories.

It feels good to have this finished. I was worried I couldn't do it, but I set myself a goal and I accomplished it. Huzzah! I was determined not to let this story die. I owed to you guys to get this done.

Thank you for reading, thank you for your reviews, and thank you for putting up with my sporadic updates. I very much appreciate it.

Take care, home fries!


End file.
